I went to bed last night feeling out of sorts and woke this morning feeling very down and unmotivated. What I call my 'what is the point' head. The weather was in sympathy with my mood, dreary, windy and threatening to rain. I saw no point in trying to ride as it wouldn't be setting B or me up for success.
Instead we went into the arena (had it all to ourselves! yay!) and I half expected B to do her usual head down 'I can't do anything'. She didn't disappoint me either. As soon as we got in there she took up her usual stance. I almost let it get the better of me, near to tears and wondering what to do. I thought to myself that we can't just let it be like this. I have been thinking this over for a couple of days now. In fact longer, as it's been an on going thing for all of our relationship so far. What was B trying to tell me? Was I too boring, too pushy, too direct line or just too nice?
I had this attitude that because B is RBI and has had issues, that I had to be careful not to send her deeper into introversion or have her explode either. Some of which is because perhaps I don't believe wholeheartedly in my own savvy. Maybe I don't trust my own judgement enough. If so, how can I expect B to have trust in me as a leader?
So instead of cuddling her and not asking anything I gently asked her to just walk with me. We played put your nose on this and find bits of carrot. It seemed a good idea to me to see if anything was broken, just as part of the usual checking in to see which horse had turned up. No surprise then that friendly game wasn't quite right and when I came to question more, yo yo was well and truly broken!
There is a big part of B's horsenality that is LBI. I never realised this when I got her. Why would I? All I saw was a very unconfident scared RBI who was desperate for a leader. Now I see another side and there is a lack of respect and obedience too. That's a surprise! With this in mind I didn't let B go introverted, I just kept her quietly moving, slowly bringing my energy up and expecting just a little bit more of her. We played yo yo game until she stopped being a punk by either not looking at me ( blah, blah, blah ) and trying to wander off away or not stopping going backwards. This is where she gets bracy and dominant. It's definitely not unconfidence. I stood my ground keeping the pressure on the line until she relaxed and could come to me with a happy look and ears forward. We moved on to yo yo over a jump but that quickly became very difficult so we tried over a pole instead. B would offer anything but going backwards over the jump pole. She even stamped her feet in what looked like frustration at one point. Barging forward so I actually had to bump her to a stop. I don't have to do that very often!
Once yo yo was re-established I thought we could re-visit circle game and see if B could maintain gait and direction. Walk was pretty good 5-8 laps each way with head down and ear on me looking where she was going. Time to see if we could get trot! Usually B can be very emotional and get unconfident and I would give in and stop. This time I thought maybe she could just try and work through the emotions herself. I was quiet, but persistent and when she stopped, tried to turn etc I just politely repeated the request and insisted she do as asked. This sometimes resulted in a snotty attitude, snaky head and some leaping about and some canter! This made me laugh and then before either of us knew it, B was trotting on that circle, relaxed and maintaining gait and direction. I stood in neutral and listened for her rhythmic breathing and blowing out. I stopped counting at 20 laps! Her ragged trot had quickly turned even and relaxed. Change of direction was effortless too. If she slowed considerably or stopped I smiled and asked her again. After a few tries she stopped asking and just did her 'job'.
Just a glance at her HQ and she disengaged and came to me. I let her rest, then we had a walk about to cool her off in case she was too warm. The wind was quite cold so we kept moving. Over jumps, sideways without a fence (I love that!), falling leaf towards me (that really gets her hooked on me) a little weaving and then end the session. She didn't go introverted at the gate either but kept her focus on me and backed beautifully around the gate to go back to her stable.
I spent some time just hanging with her. She licked my hands, scratched a few itchy bits and let me help, then settled into eating haylage. That's my cue to leave a happy contented horse.
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