How did I get so assertive all of a sudden?

This is B hitting a threshold and going intro leaving the yard. So I wait until she is 'back in the room'.

This is B going intro after offering to stand on the tree stump in the woods. So I wait and bask in the sunshine until she is 'back in the room'.

Here's B going intro after playing circle game beautifully. Five laps one way....ten, yes ten the other way at the end of the 12'. She maintained gait in walk and didn't change direction, all very soft and calm. She often goes intro like this when she has done something amazing, clever or just well.

This is how it was today until we got near the top of the old woods in between some lovely driving game from z 5. B is getting really good at turning now and that's without a c/s too. I asked her to weave and do some travelling circles. She bumped into me at one point and I took it as a bit of dominant behaviour as she wasn't really respecting my space. I moved her away from me quite quickly and then we did some sideways with stops to eat bramble leaves.

At the top of the old woods she stopped suddenly snorting and looking ultra alert. The sun was shining on a fallen log so it's colour was intense and very different from the surrounding ground. She had a really, really good look until she was happy it wasn't something terrible and she would live lol.

We carried on past where I usually get on then turned back and I got my hat on and lined B up. She was very relaxed again and I got on only for B to wait a few seconds then walk away again, not giving me time to get settled. Perhaps next time I should get off? Then try again.

I have been licking and chewing furiously over today's events and my brain is grinding under the strain. You see, I have been thinking about this leadership from the saddle thing. I have found out B has been quite challenging in this department before coming to me and I want to try and get to the bottom of it now. Is it reasonable to expect your horse to be a partner and do as asked, as long as principles are upheld, no force is used and the things asked of her are not impossible or beyond her capabilities? Am I right in wanting to be able to go where I would like, when I ask, when we go for a ride in the woods? Because again today, B was determined that she was the leader and we would only go where she wanted to. Guess where that was? Home! And not through fear. She reminded me so much of Lizzie lol.

We did a lot of lateral flexion, turning and turning until B could stand still, then go in the direction I asked her to go in. B didn't want to turn down the straight so we would go ahead then turn and go back. B would try and swing round to go home again so we would circle. All the time I made sure I was pleasant and passively persistent. When she relaxed we would carry on until I asked to go where she didn't want to. She got the better of me sometimes by being very bracy on the right side but I persisted with that until she wasn't bracy. As soon as she could walk like she would maintain gait and direction I asked her to turn and go towards home.

We made our way to the exit, circling, zig zagging and generally just doing anything that didn't mean going in a straight line. We weaved around the trees, circled and did fig 8's round them too. At the exit I asked B to carry on past. Again the braciness and refusal to do that. More lateral flexion until she could and her reward was to eat grass when we got past the exit. We spent about 15 minutes walking a few steps then eating, turning around and going to another nice patch of grass.. B was completely relaxed all the time until I asked her to go a little bit further. Again with the braciness but as soon as she moved she was rewarded with bits of carrot and going back again.

This went on at the exit many times until I felt she was relaxed and offering to maintain gait and direction instead of assuming she was just going home each time we passed the opening. She tried napping a few times so we got some lovely back up! When she finally walked past without trying to turn she began blowing out and I thought that was a good time to let her go to the exit , wait and have some treats. Then we left the woods and crossed the road.

Back on the yard I didn't want to get off so I set up some patterns around the yard. I think B did very well. If she wouldn't move at any time as long as it wasn't a threshold I peddled with my feet and made a commotion in my body until she did move. I only had to lift the lead line once when she stopped. We went in and out of the courtyard, then in and around the cars in a fig 8. then back into the courtyard until it felt like she was being a partner and not resisting.

I don't think I ask enough of her. Mostly because I didn't want to get into a fight about it. But, unlike Lizzie, B is young without health issues so asking for time in the saddle is acceptable, yes? Surely it's ok to ask for more than one ride around the woods with another horse and rider in a week. I feel it's time to step things up a bit and ask for more. I don't know where this assertiveness has come from lol. I am so happy I didn't get scared or mean or even begin to get frustrated. It never crossed my mind. B got lots of strokes, scratches, time to relax and think and encouragement. I smiled and laughed but was determined. But being leader from the saddle is obviously something I am not accustomed to.

When I got off B was with me at liberty as we went to the shed to unsaddle and give her a few more bits of carrot. Undoing the girth I suddenly remembered how Lizzie would bite when I touched the girth. We never got her past that. B stands still when I do her girth up/undo it, sometimes she turns her head to watch me and licks my hand lol.