Different day, different horse! But then I didn't wake up feeling at all anxious or worried either. Played in the playground with Sandra and Bert. B was soft and relaxed with no braciness at all. Lots of circle game, travelling circles, fig 8 without cones and z5 driving all the way across the field to the apple tree for an apple and back again.
Saddled up at liberty in B's stable! She stood still and relaxed totally with a very soft expression. Online over the road where I got on in the pub car park and with a huge local riding school ride gathered in the car park. No thresholds and we set off down the mile and 1/4 for the big squeeze game. B had a couple of shocks as golfers teed off. the noise sends a zap through her body but her feet stay still lol. Further on she needed to move her feet so we trotted but it wasn't very relaxed. I knew there must be someone coming up behind because B was tense and asking to look behind. Eventually they came past and B then took the lead for a long time which was lovely. Gives Bert a rest and we get to set the pace which is a little faster than Bert would go normally. Up the hill together in a very nice relaxed walk. At the top B felt the pressure of the big ride hoofing it up the hill behind us which made her need to move her feet. Lots of weave etc as we headed for home passing some girls from the yard. B has to stop and stare at them just to see who it is, then carry on lol.
Unsaddling was better than ever. Usually B's withers are so sensitive she hates the saddle being taken off and shivers really badly. Today she didn't flinch or step back and as we were by the shed she got to eat haylage fresh from the bale. Back in her stable we had a little conversation about brushing her sweat off and doing her feet. I interrupted the pattern of storming around the stable and she relaxed.
This week has been challenging but we had Terrific Tuesday and Super Sunday! I wonder if next week I can improve on two really good days?

Terrific Tuesday.

Some of the fencing is down in the arena in preparation for the makeover. I thought that might make things interesting today. Lots of gaps for a horse to exit from! I've been watching the latest Parelli dvd which is Mikey's Project. It has taken me weeks to find the time to see it and it was worth the wait. We were already halfway there and been following along the same ideas already but it's great to have a reminder of focus. One of the things I am good at is being provocative and interesting to B when we play. I get bored more easily than she does lol. So purpose has always been important for me. We have worked through her RBE terror and lack of focus, unconfidence and behavioral issues to a great degree of success so it's time to increase the savvy level. This is where I see us progressing out of level 2 and into 3 now and I am loving it. We are making words and short sentences now having got our ABC's pretty good.

B continues to be LB for which I am grateful but it does mean she is really trying to assert some dominance and be challenging in other ways. I am very happy to say my sense of humour and patience are limitless these days and knowing what exactly I am looking for from B helps. Expect a lot, accept a little and reward the slightest try.

This is a typical pose of B's at the moment. It says 'No! I don't want to!' Unlike a LBI she doesn't add 'make me'. Instead she will brace and try to back up then if the pressure isn't taken off explode and go RBE. She no longer sticks her head up as high as she can and I don't see much white of her eye. I have to really shut my energy down and focus on my draw and we start again after B has a rest and a scratch. It gets less extreme over time and we are continuing to play with 'going there' and then learning how to come back. We can actually play 'lets not go there' too these days. Like with extreme friendly which is coming on really well. Although she isn't totally calm about it some of the time she isn't going crazy any more.
We have been concentrating on playing some of the seven games a bit closer lately. This is in preparation for more liberty and it is paying off. Now that B is calmer and more confident she doesn't need so much drift. Today we played extreme friendly very close from z3 which initially B found very difficult. So we play the game of if you move please go back to where you were before you moved. I am learning to be very precise and persistent about this and actually I really enjoy it. B gets very annoyed with me sometimes and twice today she braced and wanted to run backwards. I have to be really, really careful not to brace and give her all the slack in the rope she needs. Interesting how she needs less and less rope each time. Sometimes she will paw the ground but pretty soon she stops moving and we can move on to the next thing.
Which today was saddling. I did think maybe we wouldn't ride as time just slips away when we are playing. But B only fidgeted a little and soon decided it was a better idea to stand still and give me permission to saddle her. Same with getting on. She didn't want to stand by my steps but after two or three circles she stood like a statue, watching me get on. She offered lateral flexion and we hung out and relaxed. I don't know who benefits from this more, me or B lol. Such a big issue for me. My butterflies can break formation and scatter in a nanosecond! We hung out, I checked my seat and relaxed some more and we set off for the nearest obstacle to play touch it. Then back again and rest. Did this a couple of times then B decided it was time to explore and leave the arena. Ok by me and we went for a mosey, passing by the mini goat who usually tries to headbutt B while she plays driving game with him.
We stopped off by my shed and B stepped in to eat a bit of haylage while I chatted to Steph. That gave us a chance to play with some back up and then go back to the arena. B didn't brace and seemed very happy to be a partner. I kept the session short and once we were back in the arena I got off. This gave B a chance to relax even more and eat some grass too.

I long for the days when we can progress some more and ride for longer. I have pushed us both too quickly in the recent past and we had to go back to the beginning again. These baby steps, which actually are giant leaps for us, are going really well. Both mine and B's confidence is building. I am so pleased and proud of how calm we are. A little bit astonished at how I can do this on my own. So nice to have that independence, although Pat, Linda and Claire are in my head lol.

Stoneleigh in my head.

I wanted to asses our broken relationship today after our challenging weekend. Sandra and I hired a horsebox for the weekend with a plan to go to a local park Saturday and then the sponsored charity ride Sunday. Bert and B loaded really nicely. We set off in the boiling heat to Trent Park only to discover a height restriction had been put in at the entrance and we couldn't get in! We drove to other entrances but no access could be found. After 2 hours of driving around in traffic we arrived back home and unloaded two hot and sweaty, bewildered horses.
Sunday I woke up feeling nervous and anxious. B must have picked up on that because she just point blank refused to load. I gave up after an hour. I was very upset and frustrated, more so about possibly having broken our relationship than anything else. Although spending all that money for what seems like nothing hurts! I took Sandra and Bert anyway. I had a nice rest under a tree and actually was glad \I missed a fraught hot ride.


Gave B the day off yesterday and noted she was very easy and polite with me. Somehow I expected her to be a bit off with me. She is more bracy than usual and I am having to be very observant and be particular about my leadership. She is constantly testing me in very tiny, subtle ways at the moment. I go to groom her she steps away, so I ask her to step back to where she was. This happens all the time now so I suspect our relationship is about to change again.
Had the opportunity to go and play in the field set aside for play/schooling for the first time today. Will have to give it a name, something amusing I think. I am just going to think about it as my field for now. My playground. My mini Stoneleigh lol. 
Anyway. Friendly and porcupine game a bit off. B was quite RB to begin with, not surprising as she has never been here before. She is very unconfident in new surroundings. Lovely to see her look to me for reassurance and comfort. We walked around for a while, she was snorting and blowing at the cross country jumps but she popped over all of them. I think moving her feet helped a lot at the start although it does bring her life up but RB switched to LB, eating grass and dominant. Lots of snaky head and change of direction on the circle game. I matched her energy which made me laugh and B look surprised. 

Very unrelaxed trot but lots of canter which wasn't emotional. Great time to work on B's emotional fitness. Lost the rope once and jumped on it to stop her leaving which resulted in her bracing and throwing her head up. Lots of trot to me to follow that and improve my draw. Lovely falling leaf in trot, travelling circles, rolling rock. So glad I didn't want to ride today. B was not ridable at any point. Marvelous to play in the huge field and be left alone. I could almost imagine being back at Stoneleigh and it made me feel very free. Refreshing to see the yard from a totally different view point. Four years of the same scenery can get stale. I liked the change of a view a lot. The weather was excellent, cloudy with a cooling breeze. Perfect!

Relationship IN the saddle.

Today was HUGE!!! I can hardly type I am so full of excitement, energy and joy! Had a lesson with Claire Burgess today and B and I rode in the arena!!! We played for 3/4 of an hour before the lesson and Claire turned up just in time to see B cantering on the 45 like a very relaxed LBE! Downwards transitions with no explosions and then back up into canter again! I love to watch this LBE of mine starting to enjoy the sensation of cantering instead of the RBE running scared.

I can't quite remember what happened after that until we were doing some saddle prep. I probably rabbited on and on about the last month and what we have been up to. I feel compelled to tell Claire as much as I can and I remembered to ask about this continuing switching off that B does now and again. We had a bit of a day of it Sunday when lately her introversion had almost disappeared. B will always go there. there will be times when I hardly notice and others when I worry about it. Just the way she is. I know how to give her the support she needs so it will never be too much of a worry.


B was so LB I found I needed to be very particular about her standing in exactly the same spot to be saddled when she moved. Her behaviour until recently has been RBE , she has needed a lot of care and taking things slowly and being very careful with her emotions. It is wonderful to see the LBE side of her emerging, even LBI some of the time. There are times when I wonder if I can really deal with her and that perhaps I should have settled for another sensible cob type. But we are far down the road in our relationship now and I couldn't part with Breeze. We are well and truly partners and the idea of losing her is unthinkable. Plus she is so different now. I should do another horsenality chart and see where we are. B will always be innately RBE/LBE and sometimes go to extremes but in general I think she has become a lot more settled and even.


I upped my leadership, got saddled, did the girth up too quickly (sorry B)  and got on like I did it every day. Claire remarked on how nice and quick and excellent it was lol. I needed a little adjustment as it looks like I have got into a habit of perching too far forwards. This might explain my tension last Sunday. I think it's been creeping up on me slowly and I had got out of the habit of checking my position. Into power position and relax, what a difference it made immediately. Guess what, B relaxed too! We sat there and did nothing. That is such a bid deal for us. I have dreamed of this day when B and I would be back in that arena doing nothing. In her life before me it's always been work, work, work, move now, here, there, until she knew nothing but get it done now! My own experience of arena riding has been some lessons when I first learned to ride on unwilling uncooperative school horses, then lessons with Lizzie who did as I asked grudgingly. Followed by B and I attempting to do some follow the rail after our course at Stoneleigh and I see now I was far too tense and direct line. Plus, the magic of Stoneleigh does wear off especially when you go back to a 'normal' yard. B was a different horse on our course, surrounded by love and understanding and that wonderful Parelli bubble.

Next some lateral flexion, a few adjustments again and it was superb. I had jokingly told Claire B has trouble with the right side...not if you ask nicely lol. We had a little walk around, I asked B to turn away from the gate, she braced, I tensed and leaned forward. A little reminder from Claire about focus and persistence and B relaxed and went where I asked! At this point Claire asked what I should do as we stopped and I let out a big sigh, Claire jokingly said and now you Breeze.......B let out an even bigger sigh. Wish we had got that on camera!

It's all about the relationship IN the saddle, not just the leadership. I knew something was missing and this is it! Probably very obvious to everyone but me. I just couldn't pin point what I needed to do and how. Fear got in the way. I cannot describe how it felt. I think B has learned such a lot since i got her and changed dramatically. I have a habit of belittling my achievements and doubt my ability all the time. To feel even more relaxation in her and feel really safe was a revelation. I know we have come such a long way but new things become familiar and get taken for granted. As I explained to Claire, it's so difficult to gauge progress when you have no one and nothing around you to compare with. I concentrate on not looking at what goes on around me but all the same I am influenced no matter how hard I try not to be. I have found no matter how many Parelli dvd's I watch, celebrations I go to and courses I go on there is no substitute for someone being there when you need them in person to help and point the way. I am always astonished at how good Claire is as a teacher too. I get her and she gets me. It doesn't seem to matter how badly we explain things we understand what we are trying to say. Most importantly she understands the nature of my fear and even more importantly knows how to help me overcome it.

When I got off, amazingly gracefully I have to say......in front of Claire I usually make a mess of everything that requires balance and coordination, I was amazed to see B's expression. Complete calm and relaxation. She looked totally LB and as if she had actually enjoyed herself. I know that's anthropomorphism but there was no mistaking her mood. I watched her mosey out into the field swinging her butt without any tension in her body at all and couldn't help but grin like an idiot!

Different horse, different day. Or is it different day, different horse!?

We had our usual (of late) short and sweet warm up in the arena. Today we got canter on the circle game and although B needed a cuddle afterwards she wasn't too emotional. Saddling was good and we found a few thresholds leaving the yard. I got on as usual in the pub car park. Today was a bit busy with a local riding school group were in the car park and three others from the yard came along all at the same time. Far too much pressure for B who just could not move from the entrance. I got off just as Sandra and Bert came to find us. We played online until we got to 'the loop' where I eventually got on. B decided she would much rather eat than stand for me to get on lol!

Another relaxed ride with no stops, some nice trot around the old woods, until we got to 'the straight' where B was adamant she wanted to go home. Ok by me, so we set off home alone. We passed the riding school group and B stayed calm as they passed but got emotional after so we trotted up the hill to the top. She didn't break gait at all but needed some focus when I asked for walk. We weaved trees and zig zagged and it felt really good. We got to the 'log trailer' where the sunlight made something look odd. Poor B couldn't stand it and turned and made to run. Not far tho and I was still calm and unafraid. A couple of hesitations and we got past. I stroked her and soothed her and pretty soon she was calm, so we made our way the rest of the way home. I had time to make sure I was relaxed and do a bit of pushing passenger too.

Crossing the road we were joined by the three we met on the way out and B spent the time waiting for a break in the traffic making faces at one of the geldings! And again when we got across the road and onto the yard lol. Opinionated LBE mare or unconfident RBE?

Indiana Jones riding

You can't see it in the photo but it chucked it down with rain as we set off for a ride. B and I had played briefly in the arena and got ready well before Sandra and Bert (my regular riding buddies) so we had done some mounting practice in the yard. Interesting how little prep we need at the moment. B is totally LB and looks like she knows all her jobs and just gets on with it. But she was having none of me getting on in the courtyard and wouldn't give me permission to get on. Once we were over the road in the pub car park she lined up with a great look on her face. Sandra says she looks interested and happy, watching me get on and looking to where we are going.
We were chilling and letting the horses eat when the heavens opened. B and I sheltered under a tree while Bert and Sandra got a bit wet so Bert could find a really tasty bit of bush to eat!

The horses were happily munching away, the rain eased and we set off when a group of 8 or so walkers came along the footpath parallel with the bridle path. Bert freaked out because they had stopped and were staring at us, then when they moved it was really slowly and creepily and it was just too much for Bert who turned and squeezed past us and ran a few paces back. Then B joined in. It's interesting to see how I have changed. Although her RB reaction gets me pulse racing a little I am not terrified at the moment. This is a really big thing! So this went on for a while, approach and retreat past the creepy walkers, even tho we asked them to act normally but don't stare. Then a pony and rider I know came along which was too much for B and I had to get off. She was retreated further and further back to the exit and I don't get into arguments with her when she can't do things.

We walked online to where I could get on, catching up with Bert and Sandra and off we went very happily. B felt like a different horse. She was relaxed and calm and just so LB I couldn't stop smiling. We trotted along the mile and 1/4 until we caught up with the prancing pony from earlier on and walked a bit. Sandra and I chatted away and I think we were a little away with the faeries, not noticing a group of golfers by the cafe. Suddenly Bert was freaking out because one of them had opened an umbrella! Poor Bert, He had done a 180 turn and stood some distance away, tense and staring at the group of golfers. B had reacted to Bert and followed in hot pursuit with me grabbing a big handful of mane and hanging on for dear life until I got lateral flexion.

Normal service was resumed when the golfers walked off, one of them apologising and promising to slap the one with the umbrella lol. We carried on round to the old woods like nothing had happened, even passing someone behind a hedge mowing their lawn without incident. In the rain.. Laughing and joking, talking about what had been happening. Bert decided we should go off piste so we detoured into the woods. B wanted to trot, it's bit too much squeeze game for her sometimes,and got too close to Berts butt. Suddenly he was telling her in very clear terms that she was too close by bunny hopping and giving her both barrels of hind feet! B was very quick to react and stayed just out of range...after that she kept her distance! I had felt her front end come up and saw Berts butt bobbing up and down in front of me and in the nano second it took my brain to process what was happening calm was restored. This was when Sandra and I decided our rides were starting to feel like mini adventures not dissimilar to Indiana Jones movies! Great fun and very entertaining but sometimes when we get back to the yard we feel a bit exhausted by it all!

The rest of the ride was lovely. I marveled at how relaxed B was, how well we weaved the trees..we got a compliment from some riders we passed just further on. I had got a bit down and anxious all week wondering if I really knew what I was doing and despite having a great ride Thursday with a different riding buddy I find I do like to beat myself up and think I am useless! I expect to get scared and feel anxious and then have B do the same. Lately that hasn't happened but I still expect it all to go back to how it has been for far too long. Looks like getting off is doing B and my confidence such a lot of good that it takes me by surprise. I guess I didn't expect what an impact it would make and how easy it would be!

I was thinking later on about how B felt riding her. I can detect a difference, a softening if you like. Less resistance. I remembered when we got back to the yard and B decided to have a mosey around the back of the courtyard. Going back into the courtyard I asked her to turn a certain way and I felt a tiny, tiny bit of brace and then she relaxed and did as I asked. That's a tiny little change but a huge one at the same time. Really brings home the issues sha has and how we are working through them.

Things feel different these days.

Here's an earlier post I forgot to post from the beginning of the month. I don't know why the photos aren't coming up though.

Had a great lesson with Claire on 2nd August. Spent a long time with saddling and getting on. I think I have got into a pretty stale routine with B and not taking any notice of her thresholds. No longer! We have been spending lots of time going very slowly with saddling and getting on since then.
Saturday we rode and it was fabulous. Played in the arena, saddled up in the courtyard and got on. B couldn't leave the yard and was only happy in the courtyard so I got off and we walked over to the pub car park where B immediately lined up by the bench. Talk about green light to get on! She was practically shouting at me! Lol. Not surprisingly we had a great ride. B kept her distance from Bert. No spooking and trotting was lovely. We had set off around the old woods but when we got to the turn where we could go home B refused to go any further. She wanted to go home. So I said bye to Sandra and let B go home!
It was quite a relaxed walk and we had a trot up the hill. B felt tense when we got to the top and I thought I had better get off. The second I thought it she relaxed and we carried on home weaving through the trees and having a great time.

Sunday was a whole different day. Warm up was good until I got the featherlights on and B showed how bracy and unconfident she could be, just like when we ride. All she wanted was to head for the gate and get out of there. I saddled up in the courtyard and it really blew B's mind. It was the most engaged she has been yet, paying close attention to what I was doing. She has almost stopped stepping back now. When we were ready and waiting for Sandra and Bert she came and stood ext to me, hung her head really low and switched off. I stroked her head and massaged between her ears for ages it seems. B was really inside her head and it worried me a little. I haven't seen her go this deep in a long time. When she came out of it we followed Sandra and Bert online over the road where B went introverted again. That made me decide not to ride. We let Sandra go off and hung around to eat grass and stuff.

Since then I have been chatting to my connected members on Parelli Connect and feeling like I have more information. Not to mention some wonderful support. I think I have been ignoring my own thresholds and the fear has been eating away at me but I have not acknowledged it. Combined with B's hormones as she has been in and out of season all summer we have both lost confidence.

Taking care of B.

We had quite a low key play in the arena to begin with and saddled up there too. The first time I tried B couldn't stand still for me to even try to swing the saddle near her. While letting her rest and play friendly game I watched Sandra and Bert struggle with circle game. I asked Sandra if I could have a play which gave B a long rest.

We played again when S and B had gone to saddle up and to my surprise B wanted me to saddle from the left. We got some lovely circle game in trot and canter after that.

I have decided to take B over to the woods online for the time being. It is too much pressure for her if I try and ride over there, it seems. That's a real eye opener. What a difference it made, I had a happy confident LB horse who wanted to eat EVERYTHING! Got on beautifully by the 'loop' and Sandra said B was licking and chewing a lot. We set off and B kept her distance from Bert. Lovely.

We had a lovely ride all the way down the straight but when we got to the old woods turn B stopped and wouldn't go further. She turned a few times and instead of letting her go the way she wanted I got off! First time I have done this and not before I jokingly pleaded with B 'please don't make me get off, pleeease!' lol. Just as well I did, because B was running circles around me for a while until we caught up with Sandra and B.
Oh boy it was a long walk from then on! I tried to get on in various places but I could hear that little child whining in my head ' I can't!' and I gave up for a while. The problem seems to be feeling balanced enough up on the fence and then worrying about the fact that when B is lined up it's big leap of faith onto her back and I was too worried she would move!

So we walked along, actually we had a trot, side by side with Sandra and Bert coming up behind. I am more fit than I thought, just need to be a bit more flexible and balanced. I hate being my age! I spotted a likely place to get back on along the last stretch of the mile and 1/4 and despite two riders coming towards us B was calm and happy for me to get on. She strode off in front confident of where she was going. We trotted a bit but it felt very emotional so I bent B to a stop. Just as we reached the pub the horses spooked badly at what sounded like someone throwing bricks into a metal bin and B jumped out of her skin and spun around. I clung on and went with her until I could bend her to a stop. Sandra dismounted and we made our way to the exit. I got off then too and we walked the horses home. It was beginning to rain and started to really pour down as we got to the stables.

B was very cuddly back in her stable. She just wanted to hang out with me and be scratched. How great is that! We watched the rain together for a while then I reluctantly got on with the rest of my day. I am plotting tho! Plotting taking a wheelbarrow into the woods to the wood yard and stealing some logs to place around the bridle path for me to get on next time!

Changes and testing times

For the first time in many years I haven't blogged for 11 days. I have been posting more and more on Parelli Connect and it seems once I have done that all the words about our latest happenings disappear from my brain!
Plus I have been ill with a virus, my Patterjack dog killed a goose at the yard and I just felt all wrong. Made some very major changes in my personal life too so things are very different for me at the moment.
We have been playing a lot and making great breakthroughs online while our freestyle riding has deteriorated.
The last time I rode was Saturday and some of it wasn't very pleasant. B refused to leave the yard so instead of trying all our usual stuff I hopped off and asked her to do lots of things as we crossed the yard, road and into the woods. Travelling circles, falling leaf, yield HQ and once in the woods zone 5 driving to the log where I got on. I had butterflies in my guts for most of the time and although I think they were flying in formation it wasn't until we went in the lead after the last turn that I relaxed completely.

When I woke up Sunday morning the thought of riding made me feel sick! We played in the arena with Sandra and Bert joining us for a while. It was only when I told Sandra I wouldn't be riding that the sick feeling went. Immediately! After Sandra left we were in the arena for 2 hours! Even the boiling hot sun didn't seem to bother me. I swapped between 22', 45' and the featherlight lines. The featherlights were the most interesting. It's only the second time I have used them and this time I really understood how. It was very interesting to see how B reacted to them, showed all her braciness which I experience when riding.

When we had enough playing I took the line off and tried some liberty. Although B left energetically it was very easy to catch her. I just walked past and she kind of hooked on and came with me. I am still keeping near the gate and it was great fun to see her blasting around but still coming back to me for a butt scratch before I put the line back on we left.

I spent the whole weekend pondering what is going on and what I needed to do about it. Couldn't quite put my finger on it but I am sure when I do it will be a BFO!

Rain, sun/rain, work and walk.

Zone 5 driving.

The title should take care of Saturday, Sunday, Monday and today! Saturday it rained and rained and rained and rained! It turned out to be almost a washout. My riding buddy and I waited until we knew for sure the rain wouldn't stop and abandoned our plans. I got to spend an hour earning lots of Breeze brownie points by giving her all the scratches she wanted in all her inaccessible places. We did manage some play in the evening, which although short was marvelous until the rain became too much. I saw an entertaining side to B and if horses could smile I think B would have been grinning.

Sunday we had a lovely warm up in the arena, although B was unsettled by other horses and riders in the arena. She was happy to canter on circle game but for now we aren't progressing and getting many laps. I am just happy to see her less excited and emotional. We just keep on trying and rewarding the try.
Saddling up was ok but I am sure I saw a grumpy expression on B's face. Perhaps I should take more notice of that face because after getting on and having a rest and then a mosey B refused to leave the yard. It wasn't RB at all, very much that old familiar 'I don't want to and you can't make me'!!!! Reminded me so much of Lizzie, she used to do this a lot and actually it makes me smile a little.
Sandra and Bert had crossed the road and were waiting for us as we did a lot of the usual approach and retreat and wait. I had to concentrate very hard on zero brace so that B had nothing to fight about. All the same it was quite hard for me to stay happy, she really tests my patience. Luckily another rider was leaving the yard and although B wasn't too keen on following I used this horse for B to focus on while I began to peddle my feet, swing my arms, then shoulders, then whole body rhythmically to ask for walk. It worked and we were over the road and joining Bert and Sandra.
Lovely ride all in all, although B still will not leave enough distance between her and Bert's butt even when trotting. Holding her back or doing constant half halts/lifting the rein and asking for her to stop just winds B up and makes her tense. In the end I lent Sandra my blue string and she swung it in B's face which helped. I had to apologise to Sandra because she got a bit annoyed but I don't know what else can be done while sticking to Parelli principles.
Bert had a few slow-mo spooks where he could not go forward and would then slowly turn and hide behind us. Then B would turn and hide behind Bert. We wait for the horses to be confident again and move on. That's just one of the things I really appreciate about Sandra. She may not be a committed Parelli student, just does a few things online but she shares the same principles. She's natural.
We had a lovely relaxed time for the rest of the way. I asked B to do a few things to keep her mind occupied and she was quite light and happy about it. Turning, weaving, playing touch this and point to point until we reached the exit.
I don't know if asking her to go past without Bert upset her but as soon as we got out of the woods and into the car park she tried to bolt, heading across the busy road. I very quickly bent her to a stop which resulted in her trying to brace and turn circles until she calmed down. I remember how loud the clatter of her hooves sounded on the tarmac as I got into the power position and held on to that rein firmly.
As soon as she relaxed I released and we resumed our walk across the road as if nothing had happened.
Monday I was working so didn't get to see B very much either in the morning or evening. Even so I think a day off and not doing much is good for both of us.
Tuesday, as seems to be the usual lately, the arena was being leveled so b and I went for a walk in the woods. Great zone 5 driving, until we did some different things. I think B makes assumptions and I have let her get used to just going on one direction, turning and going back. This time I asked her to turn back then turn and carry on. She wasn't very happy about that and tried to doge me but I am getting very savvy at knowing where, why and how to be in the right place to block her (politely) and ask her to carry on, all from zone 5.

Love this expression.

I dropped my phone AGAIN and had to retrace our steps to find it. It's happening too much lately! Then we headed past the exit and B had a bit of graze, then back to the yard.

Pedestal love

Breeze loves being on the pedestal so much she sometimes eats her haylage while up there. Very sweet.

Go away!

I went to get B in Monday eve and there she was squirting for brown Bertie and generally telling me she was busy. The pair of them left this field going into the next. I followed them where B decided she did want to be caught after all.

We had a great walk in the woods this morning with a lot of zone 5 driving game. I focused on being particular and polite about B doing as I asked and being in the proper position all the time. We also got some lovely sideways in trot. Plus some circle game in the empty car parks in the woods.

This evening she didn't want to come in. Brown Bert stays out at night so I guess B wanted to stay with him. It is after all how horses live naturally but it really does feel strange for me to leave her out in the field. How conditioned I am!

Learning to go with the flow.

I think I lost the plot this weekend. That's the joy of depression, it creeps up on you and before you know it your word has turned into a very ugly place. I don't like to talk about it, certainly not on a horse blog. I try to keep my personal life out of it but occasionally it gets so bad it creeps into my horse life too. I realised a few days ago that things were about to crash and burn and I was heading for a big downer. Sure enough it hit me Saturday.

Lately I have learned to listen to what I need instead of trying to carry on and get worse in the process. Happily I have equine therapy!!! I spent hours with B. We played for a couple of hours in the arena. I can't even remember if anyone else was there. It was like being back at Stoneleigh but totally on our own to do as we pleased. Then I just knew I wanted to ride. We saddles up nicely and I got on for a mosey around the yard. B took us into the arena and we did some fig 8 and weave around cones. B didn't want to stay in there and made it quite clear she wanted to leave, so we did. We went for another mosey and then I asked her to go to the gate but she refused.
We spent about 30 minutes playing approach and retreat with B trying every trick to refuse to go. I had to bend her quite often and when she napped I asked her to go backwards in time to the music playing on my iPod. She was so LBI! I kept my sense of humour and just persisted politely that we do what I asked but I didn't push her too much to go to the gate. When we got as near as I thought she would go I gave her a treat and we went back to the courtyard and then had another tour of the yard and I got off.

It chucked it down with rain in the evening so B and I hid in her stable and chilled out. I did some grooming and scratched B in her favourite places.

Sunday we had our usual ride with Sandra and Bert and B was a different horse. Pat says we should ride/play for tomorrow and it looks like we did because B was fabulous. She took the lead for a lot of the ride and trotted ahead up the hill although she was quite slow and considered. She was taking care of both of us and looking out for danger.

I never get tired of looking at photos of B taken from the saddle

Although I think B looks a bit googly eyed from this angle. She usually cranes her head round asking for a treat or a scratch which can feel quite unsteady sometimes. Horses and Parelli, best therapy in the world!

Saturday/Sunday.

I had the whole weekend to spend time with B. I get every other Saturday off work for the time being so we made the most of it. Great warm up in the arena. We got Fig 8 trot/canter transitions, circle game relaxation, over a jump towards me then back up to it. Tried some lead by the leg which is improving.

Followed by a great relaxed ride. I really noticed how much focus B needs sometimes to help her concentrate and not look in the bushes all the time for beasties. Here trot was really nice and she responded well to being asked to keep her distance from Bertie. We got to lead some of the way too.
This day she decided she didn't want to turn right out of the old woods. Usually I will let her turn and we rest, but this time I wanted  her to focus on what I was asking her so this time I immediately bent her and waited. This seemed to have a really good effect and with only a little hesitation she turned and we caught up with Bert and Sandra. I am hoping this was a good example of doing less sooner so as not to do more later!

Sunday was another hot day and I seemed to be all over the place. Left my yard keys at home but the shed was already open. I got completely sidetracked playing with B in the arena. We did a lot of driving from zone 5 playing follow the rail, weave and Fig 8. I lost track of time only to see Sandra already tacked up and ready to go. It was only then I realised I needed my keys after all to get my saddle! So I had to drive home for the keys after arranging to meet Sandra down by the viaduct.

Saddling up was lovely and B and I played all the way to the top of the old woods. More zone 5 driving with stops to eat stuff. B was very calm and happy when I got on. She happily walked forwards but as soon as I asked her to turn right to meet up with Sandra she didn't want to and 'dug her heels in'. Like the day before I immediately bent her to a stop which again worked really well. Just as Sandra and Bert came into view. Breeze went to turn before them but I asked her to keep going and fall in behind. She must have hoped we were going home but again we turned away to go down around the old woods. She hesitated but seemed ok to go on. Not far ahead again she tried to turn and I bent her again. No hesitation after this and we went for a lovely ride.

I am trying now to ask B to do more as we go for our rides instead of just tucking in behind Bert. And not just zig zag to calm her. I understand she needs to follow where Bert goes to a certain extend, through puddles and stuff because it must be obvious to her if he went a certain way it must be safe. But I am thinking if she is more amenable to following my leadership out in the woods this might transfer to riding in the arena. 

Later on we went for a graze around the yard then for a quick play in the arena. It was even hotter and muggy so I kept it low key. Lots of falling leaf and s pattern in walk. More zone 5 driving and we got some superb weave and fig 8 around cones. Breeze was nice and cool while I sweated all the time, it was so hot!

Thursday.

 I had time before work for a play in the empty arena. I have worked out that I can set us up for success by starting off with some games that B likes to do... rock slide, falling leaf, s pattern, leading on to fig 8's and then circle game. It feels a lot like slowly bringing her life up and engaging her mind.

 B didn't seem as relaxed as usual so I didn't ask her to do too many laps, instead I asked for change of direction and then canter. Wow! What a good idea that was! She gave me four laps! Nice calm canter for four laps! I asked her in and gave her a lot of praise, rest, then sent her to try the other direction. B didn't quite maintain the gait but it was good enough for me and I ended the session there.

After work, when I got to the yard Sandra was getting ready to ride and suggested we join her and Bertie. I thought why not? B and I went to warm up in the arena after saddling, which didn't take long. I started out with friendly game, then picked up B's feet and then did some wrap around. Pre flight warm up was good and didn't take long. As we left Sandra and Bert were going into the arena so B and I hung out for a while before I got on. She seems to need this sometimes.

Very small threshold as we left the yard and B likes to grab a mouthful of leaves from the bushes at the gate. Sandra and I decided to just do the big loop of the woods and set off down the mile and 1/4. We let the horses eat as we went along and B was a great partner, eating and moving on. Bertie wasn't and wanted to stop. Further on he dug his heels in and refused to move. Something up ahead was bothering him and we had no idea what it might be. After a few approach and retreats he decided it was ok to carry on. We trotted a while along the muddy bridle path until we came to a bigger puddle. Bert splashed his way through, B took me totally by surprise, scrunched herself up her head rising up in front of me and bunny hopped the puddle! I lost a stirrup and had to stop, gathered myself together, started breathing again and we carried on in walk. Just as well we did because to our enormous surprise what was coming towards us along the path? A car!! I kid you not! A car!!!
I have shown in photos how narrow the path is? Barely enough room for two horses to be side by side but here was this car scraping along the fence and grinding to a halt, blocking our way. Poor Bert couldn't stand still while B took this opportunity to stuff her face! Every time Bert turned so did B but she easily turned back again when I asked. Eventually the driver, having hopped out to appologise and open a gate to reversed back far enough to let us past. I gave him some advice/directions about retracing his tracks and we left him to get on with it. I noticed some damaged fencing further on and how the car didn't slide into the stream I will never know.

B seemed unsettled by having to wait and get eaten by flies and I found it hard to relax after this. Perhaps I just got annoyed, I don't know, but it took a while for both of us to get in sync again. We got to go in the lead for a while which seemed to help B settle along with some zig zag until we were far enough up the straight for us to have a trot. I was a bit anxious about it but as soon as I asked for trot I relaxed and we both enjoyed a nice slow trot. I seem to be happier if we are in the lead, don't know why, will have to lick and chew on that one. Maybe it's a control thing lol.

We got back to the yard without anymore excitement with Sandra and I chatting and having a bit of a giggle about it all along the way. Amazing what happens sometimes!

Best laid plans. . . .

B and I were out in the woods just as the skies opened and the rain fell at an astonishingly fast rate.
I had planned to go into the arena but it was being levelled off so instead we went for a play in the woods. I am a little focused on circle game at present and want to concentrate on B's relaxation and canter. There isn't space in the woods to really get going but we utilised the car park areas for some trot.
Plenty of sideways and rock slide today plus driving from zone 5 which was really good. B was really connected to me and was responding to just a thought which must be challenging for her in the woods with all the distractions.
We turned for home when the rain started and made it back to the yard to the crashing of thunder, pretty dry considering. When I checked the time we had been out for a good 45 mins!

I had moved this pallet off the bridle path. B went a little intro and I wonder if she was also listening out for brown Bertie who was out for a solo ride but went the other way...

Taking care of Ms B.

 It's been an interesting week. After Tuesday I have been busy at work so all B and I have done is chill out when not going to and from the field. Saturday I had a chance to play before and after work which was pretty good. B has been settling and relaxing on the circle game in trot and fig 8 in trot has been super. It never gets boring to see how B connects with me when we play. I am always blown away by playing the 7 games and feel very glad I found Parelli. I am constantly smiling about how far we have come as I watch B doing her 'job' and being a partner. Especially as it's only been one year and she has gone from being a head shy, scared, unconfident youngster to a calm, happy, usually confident adult. Best of all I realise I have done it myself, with the support of the Parelli community and Instructors of course. Stunning.

Saturday evening I was exhausted after work but I find lately, no matter how tired I feel, as soon as B and I are together I find enough energy to play. I wonder how I do it sometimes lol. But I guess I just love being with her and being a Parelli student. There's always something to do. We had a great play focusing on 20+ laps in trot on the circle game. Fig 8 as usual along with rock slide etc in between. I tried a little stick to me and we carried on with the fig 8 together too. Then I thought I would give B some time offline and see how our liberty might look.

Liberty has been quite difficult for us given B's cusp horsenality. It gets better though. This time she didn't try to get away from me fast like she usually does. She did leave which gave me the chance to play catching game. We did get one little bit of stick to me then she headed off in front to the gate but when I drew her to me she came with such a sweet look I ended it there and we went back to the stable.

Which brings me to today, Sunday! And the title of this blog post. First we had a great bit of cuddle time with B resting her head between my knees. I was sitting on one of the pedestals outside her stable, and I scratched inside both ears very gently and rubbed her head around her eyes. She closed her eyes and really got into it. Marvelous! You can't beat that level of trust and bonding between horse and human can you. It made my day. When she had had enough we went and had a great play in an empty arena before it got too hot. It was really a pre-flight check, not a full session to focus on stuff. Today we got one walk to canter transition on the circle game! B gave me three calm controlled laps in canter too. Very nice. Well done B. She really is progressing well, isn't she. We got calm trot and B looked very relaxed. Everything was set up nicely for saddling so we went and did that and I got on. 

One little threshold leaving the yard and when we got into the woods B went in the lead. We had a great relaxed ride in the dappled shade of the woods. We stayed out of the sunshine and let the horses eat. All was wonderful until we got near the bottom of the straight and B slipped, the ground was very greasy from all the rain we had, and pop went one of the cable ties I have had on my reins since Stoneleigh. B scared herself and needed to move so we trotted to catch up with Sandra and Bert. We let the horses graze for a while in one of their favourite places until two riders from the riding school came past. I know them and we have seen them and their uptight ponies quite often. One of them is the one who always calls me the mad rope woman, as her pony jogs sideways past us. 

Today B was very upset by their approach so I took her to meet them, then turn and follow them the 50 meters or so back to Bertie and Sandra. Off popped the other cable tie on the reins as I had to bend her to a stop! B was still not happy so off we trotted and did a little circling and then lateral flexion while Sandra and Bert caught us up. B didn't settle so I spent the next bit of the ride helping B get calm while Bert calmly plodded on. I am so pleased that again I stayed calm and not at all scared or worried! B needed me to support her and keep her mind on the job. The job was a lot of zig zag, even in the lead. I stroked her and made sure I had zero brace and by the time we got to the top of the old woods she had lowered her head and her breathing had gone quiet, instead of the huff, huff, huff all the time.

We weaved the trees and I found I hardly used the reins so that's getting even better now too. It was lovely to plod along in the shade on a now relaxed and calm Breeze again. I am thrilled.

Back on the yard I unsaddled and hosed B off to cool her because it was about 28c by then. I left her in the cool of her stable eating haylage. 

That was interesting!

The lovely Frances and Kayleigh were due to come and visit today. Frances had to cancel and spend time putting her relationship with Kayleigh first so I decided to ride alone and meet for lunch afterwards.

B and I got ready and left the yard without any thresholds. B was happy to walk next to me for a short while. We came to the first turn where the tree stump is and she had to stop, then hoped up on the stump. I didn't give her a treat because it was obvious she wasn't relaxed lol. We carried on farther this time, instead of our usual mounting place at the top of the old woods. I asked her to do some rock slide and sideways and some driving from zone 5. All the way down the straight to the viaduct. B found some nice stuff to eat then wanted to turn into the old woods like we usually do when we ride. Instead I asked her to carry on to the bottom where there is a sturdy enough fence for me to get on.

I climbed up, a little wobbly and asked B to line up. This took quite a while with B turning again and again. I did my best to be calm and patient and in the end I just laughed at how she was testing me. B began to stand for longer until  man appeared offering to hold my horse. I declined and politely told him it wasn't about holding my horse still, but waiting for her to give me permission. He must have thought I was crazy!

Soon enough I was on and B stood nice and still while I tried to tie up the lead rope while juggling reins and c/s. This took too long for B who decided she had had enough waiting and stomped off up the hill. I got into a right state trying to ask her to bend to a stop, tying up the wrong bit of rope which got tangled in her mane! So we jogged a bit/stopped a bit, until I was organised and could give B more support. We did a little bit of trotting just so she could move her feet. Then she was happy to walk and begin to relax. Phew. I wonder now if I could have done things differently, easy to think about alternatives now, sitting at my keyboard. But I did the best I could and I think it was ok. I sound unsure, don't I. That's because in an ideal world B wouldn't have jogged off, she would have been a partner and waited for me to be ready. Perhaps I should have jumped off but I felt safe and I always think if B does calm down pretty quickly it's ok.

She did calm down and I got to focus on c/s riding which I am very rusty at. We walked quite briskly and we tested trot again which made the c/s bang my shoulder. I remember that happening when first I rode Lizzie with the c/s which seems like an really long time ago now.

We weaved some trees and did some zig zag to focus B's mind. All too soon we were by the exit which surprisingly B couldn't go through. Usually nothing stops her leaving the woods lol. The bags of sand and a plank of wood that looked so safe on the way out now scared B who had to retreat and approach three times before we could go past. I praised her for being brave as we crossed the car park and then the road.

Back on the yard we had a mosey around and I played friendly game with the c/s and had a try and steering and stopping with it too. Stopping was really easy but steering needs a little work. I am sure we will get used to this quite quickly.

This evening when I went to find B, the second she saw me from halfway down the field she stopped eating and walked towards me. Looks like I did ok today then!

Happy horse, happy human.

I thought it would be fun to show the trails in the sand of the arena from our play this morning.  As you can see in the above photo B's left turn on the fig 8 is wider...

...than the right turn. I was standing (and running) on the other side of the cones from where the photos were taken. It's certainly starting to look fluid now. You can see in the background the circle left in the sand from our 20+ laps in trot both ways on the circle game. Very nice it was too.
I keep finding I am smiling to myself a lot these days when we play. I smile because I know how good it's getting. Can't help myself lol. We played for about 30 minutes, interspersing each game with a rest/scratch and sometimes a treat. Great jumping which seems like it makes B happy. I love to see 'that' look on B's face. Eyes bright and I get both eyes and ears.
We left the arena to get saddled up and all of a sudden B seemed to have gone introverted and didn't look bright and happy. I had a brainwave and took her back to outside the arena to graze and just chill while Sandra and Bert warmed up in the arena. Turned out to be the best thing to do and pretty soon her attitude changed and all seemed well in her world again.

I got on from the right side for the first time in weeks. I think B is getting used to the idea. She didn't have any thresholds leaving the yard and wanted to eat quite a bit at the beginning of the mile and 1/4. Having spent the week since my lesson with Claire thinking things over about my fears really helped it turns out because I stayed calm and didn't let any bad thoughts creep in. Consequently we had a great ride and I really thought we had a great partnership. B hardly spooked at all. She maintained gait and direction and when the horses needed to move their feet we had some great trotting. I was almost tempted to canter which is a good sign Best of all B led the way for a good part of the ride and we got so far in front we didn't see Sandra and Bert for ages. B stayed calm and just kept going. Brilliant!

Since I re-shimmed my saddle pad I noticed my hip and leg have stopped hurting. Woohoo! B seems happy with it too. Everything just seems to be falling into place.

Tuesday someone I became friends with on the Flex Track course is coming over to come play/ride in the woods with B and I. I am very excited about this. Blog and pictures to follow!

Playtime and successful riding!

My extrovert horse after riding

We had an amazing play in the arena this morning before Sarah the trimmer came. I think I read B right this week and gave her some space and time to be a horse.

She seems so easy to teach things to these days. Claire had given me some arrows for fig 8 in trot which I tried today with great success. So much so that B offered canter around the cones. I really enjoyed being energetic and expressive and bringing my energy up to match B. Made me laugh a lot despite being a little out of breath. Hardly noticed the rain as we carried on playing, we were having so much fun. I got to stay in neutral while B cantered a lap or so in both directions. So pleased.

I was having a few doubts the last few days about what was going on with B and I. I should really try and trust my own instincts eh? I knew she needed some time to think things over and I needed time to be a human. Looks like it paid off too judging by her great attitude today.

After the visit from Sarah the barefoot trimmer I just felt like riding so I saddled B and we had a mosey around the yard then went into the arena. Sandra kindly marked out a circle for me in the sand and we tried some follow the rail around the circle. I don't know but it seemed like a lot of corrections to keep her on track. I wonder if it's me lacking focus but actually I don't think I feel I know how to focus to ask her to follow a mark in the sand! We stopped in the middle a couple of times for B to rest and stay calm. We did a bit of fig 8 then some follow the rail of the arena. I took B to the gate but she turned and headed away so that earned her a rest in our circle and some scratches. I think she did really well considering there were a couple of teenagers in with us trying to get their ponies to jump. Lots of predator noises but B stayed calm and almost ignored them completely.

We tried some back up over a pole and then we attempted sideways but I don't think B understood what I was asking. More practice needed on that one, meaning I need to learn how to ask the question properly lol. It will probably have to wait for my freestyle lessons with Claire in August. But I am so pleased with the pair of us. I worry so much sometimes about losing the calm I have worked so hard to find. I have in my mind how it feels when we play on the ground and I want to feel that normality when we ride too, no matter where. We are still taking it slowly to counteract B's negative start in life and my residual fears with lots of approach and retreat. It felt really good to ride today, like it was just another ride. I have had a tendency to think of riding as a big important event for such a long time. I am relieved to start to feel its a nice, easy, 'normal' thing to do.
I dream about B and I riding in the arena. We do all kinds of things like clover leaf in walk, trot and canter. In my dreams B has the most beautiful slow, collected canter and I always feel relaxed and very happy. One day I hope that will be a reality! Claire has suggested I bring my camera to our lessons and she will film me playing and soon enough riding. That is really something to look forward to and cherish.