Softness and feel.

While performing the monumental task of sorting out my neglected piles of paperwork yesterday, I found this! I did this chart after I first visited B and it's incredible to see how she has changed. I had to tell myself off at first for thinking negatively and wondering if I had filled the chart incorrectly. But these were my honest first impressions of B. No wonder I thought she was a RBI.

Speaking of change...both B and I have changed enormously lately. I am really pushing the edges of my comfort zone some more and finding lots of things to do with B that I have wanted to do for such a long time. Not just to do with B either really, but to further my own horsemanship generally. I think it has really helped to have the Humanality report and see that I am innately a LBI which could be why I have experienced thresholds with riding in the arena. All arena riding meant to me was boredom and stress for my horse. I had no plan in my head. All I had was rising panic and worry.

Today we played in the arena on the 22' to begin with. Driving game is going well, I think. I might be wrong lol. We will see what Claire thinks in a couple of weeks time. Fig 8 and weave, check. Changed to the 45' which is now becoming quite familiar in feel. I tried some two rein driving just to introduce it to B. I have been watching some footage on the Parelli Connect site about it. She was ok but more time is needed on that.

Now that I can ask B to canter on the circle game and she is calm, I thought we might try some transitions, in particularly slowing down. A very strange and difficult concept for B! I blew her mind again when we did walk, trot, finally canter and instead of going full pelt, slow down and trot or walk. Then I asked her in...for slowing down!!! To make sure she got the idea we did that a couple of times and to see that it wasn't just luck. That gave B a lot to think about, head down, licking, blinking and chewing. B has quickly picked up when to canter from my body language..I do a little skipping to mimic the three time beat and we tried some stick to me in a straight line to try for canter. She almost got it but got quite emotional trying. It's a start.

Back to the 22' (which now feels like a bit of limp string) some falling leaf, sideways etc and out of the arena to go saddle up by B's stable. I am really enjoying taking my time saddling up. It's a stark contrast to pre-Parelli days and how most people around me get the job done. B seems to appreciate taking the time it takes. I got on and we just hung for a while before we went for a walk around the yard. 

B took me to the arena! In we went and did some weave and fig 8, then one full pattern of the clover leaf on the left rein in a 1/4 of the school. Lots of resting in between and treats and then we left for another mosey around the yard and back to the courtyard. Unbelievable! Nice bit of approach and retreat. Then I asked B to turn just by following a feel as I lifted the rein and turned my own body. I can tell she isn't used to this despite my gentleness. I can't really explain it well here, but I was watching Pat on Parelli Connect in The Dynamics of Motion. Coupled with trying to be soft and following a feel I am just trying to improve the flow of communication between B and I. She has adapted to being ridden in the hackamore really well but I can feel the brace in her and this was a great opportunity to try to show her another way. 

Ha! Listen to me, anyone would think I knew what I was doing. Me, a horse trainer! Well, maybe I am in a very small way given that I have all Pat and Linda's knowledge to pass on to B and I know what makes my horse less bracy and happier. Empowering stuff, this Parelli.

Go Breeze, go!!!

Yet another boiling hot day but cool enough this morning for play in the arena. B had her LBE head on. Snaky head, stopping on the circle and generally being snotty! I laugh when she is like this. It is fun as long as I can channel that energy and not have her get emotional. My persistance and calm paid off with a few laps of controlled canter on circle game, falling leaf in trot, sideways and great weave. She wasn't quite calm enough to ride when we left the arena so I took a long time to saddle up which gave her a lot of time to rest and think.

Sandra and Bert led the way. Leaving the yard was great again and both horses got stuck into eating for a long time. Breeze was very relaxed until we got about half way round when she needed to move her feet. I seem to have really nailed trot now and so has B. We were happily trotting side by side when both horses spotted two people up ahead on the mile and 1/4 and all of a sudden they screeched to a halt leaving really long skid marks behind us! Must be what a sliding stop feels like? Very funny and left Sandra and I giggling. We walked on, then trotted past the people and I could feel B was really up for moving. Up ahead Bert went into canter. B couldn't choose between trot or canter without squishing Bert, the horses were almost shoulder to shoulder and Bert wasn't happy about it. B's trot is as fast as his canter and Sandra was struggling to keep Bert calm so we squeezed past Bert and were off!

My god B can move!!! I love that all I have to do is think energy and B responds. Must be one of the many advantages of an extroverted horse. She just piles on the power which feels a lot like when I ride my motorcycle! This is, even after a whole year, a very new experience for me. Especially to have it not accompanied by that hated sensation, fear! But I am still rubbish at canter and can't yet quite manage to relax enough to admire the scenery whizzing past. Instead I have to really work on making myself relax, sit up and back, feel B's rhythm, try not to lift my feet out of the stirrups and leave the reins long! Phew! 

Today I got the sitting up and back, relaxed enough to almost see where we were going. B spooked and I almost lost a stirrup but she carried on again and I regained my balance and realised I wasn't going to fall off. I was really trying to remember to breathe while feeling the power of her underneath me. Wow, what a sensation! Exhilarating and kind of scary all in one. All too soon I noticed we were nearing the last bend and that I had shortened the reins tsk, tsk. That's the next thing for me to work on. I have managed a totally casual rein in trot so canter will happen too soon I reckon. Anyway, the bend was looming up so in my head and body (I guess lol) I just 'quit riding' and B slowed to a trot then walk and we turned the corner for the last bit home.

I remember two golfers looking up in surprise at us as we turned the corner, Sandra and I a little out of breath with the excitement. They must have heard us thundering along the bridle path and then jabbering to each other, recounting our experience.

B hasn't been confident to lead much lately but now she was on a roll and we walked/trotted along in front to cool down before reaching the exit. Crossing the road was great again despite a pub car park full of cars and people.

I didn't spend too much time sitting on B after that. I had to get off and find a few treats, then hose her back off as it was a little sweaty. I think she enjoys how we go to the shed, take her saddle off there and stuff her with carrot. I like to chill out with her after she has carried me for those 4 or 5 miles round the woods. We hung out in her stable for a while then she got stuck in to her hay and I could leave. It was only then I realised it was 3pm! Where does the day go?

Huge!

It is 28c today and far, far, far too hot for me! I have been struggling for the whole week really because my body's thermostat no longer works properly and the minute the temperature goes over 20c I suffer. I try to stay cheerful and cool lol. I plugged my iPod in and off we went to the arena while it was empty. Consequently we didn't warm up in the arena for very long, but it was wonderful. I took the 45' in case I needed it but B was playful and totally focused on me on the 22'. We played mirror me and got change of direction in trot and canter!!! Beautiful relaxed circle game in all three gaits and some more z 5 driving. We were so in tune I ended the session there and we got saddled up.

Sandra hadn't appeared at the yard so I took my time saddling up, giving B as much time as she needed. Still no Sandra so I thought I would get on and just see what B wanted to do. I decided B would call the shots and that I would listen to her opinion and focus on our relationship and preserving her dignity.

Breeze, to my surprise and joy, was happy to leave the yard, just as Sandra turned up and we didn't meet any thresholds leaving the yard or going across the road on our own.

Breeze met a few thresholds as we made our way to the top of the old woods. I let her rest and waited each time, making sure she had nothing to brace against. Whenever she turned I politely turned her around and waited for her to carry on. Lots of stroking and scratching and praise and singing! I sung along to whatever tune came up on the random setting. She stopped a few times to eat and I allowed her to do this as much as she liked. We had a great relaxing time in the shade and I was so happy to be out of the sun. We did a lot of fig 8 and circle around some trees when she got particularly sticky. I matched her energy as we walked along. If she got tense, so did I. I swung my arms and moved my upper body to the speed of her step and found this calmed her. I practiced all the eyes, shoulders, navel, knees and toes turning when we weaved or zig zagged. But finally at the top of the old woods B really could not go any further. I knew turning around was the right thing to do by her. This was about respecting her ideas and wishes. It wasn't about going all the way around, time for that another day. I was content to set it up for tomorrow, the next ride and the next.

So we walked along, playing weave around the trees. I was so pleased with us! Calm. Even going home wards B was still quite relaxed and didn't rush. When we got to the exit she hesitated on going past and along the mile and 1/4 but was happy to turn and walk away back the way we came. More eating and then we left the woods and stood in the car park. I could see Sandra and Bert leaving the yard so we waited for them and turned and followed them back into the woods. We turned down the mile and 1/4 for a little way and I allowed B to eat some more. I got the impression Sandra wanted to be alone, she said she was feeling pretty rough, I think there is a stomach bug doing the rounds so said my goodbyes and let B leave the woods. I could feel she didn't want to follow Bert so we headed back to the yard.

We stood on the pedestal then did a couple of circuits around the yard, including the rough ground behind the containers. B was relaxed and happy and I was really comfortable. We have both pushed our comfort zones and it has been a great success. Little by little I feel we are really getting this partnership thing. Is this how it really feels? I hope so, because I like this feeling. Total connection, the two of us thinking as one almost. Taking care of each other, not one getting angry with the other, no arguing and no fear. Almost a year to the day of B coming to me, I am astonished at how far we have come! Just look at us. It makes me laugh and cry. Tears of happiness today.

Wow!

Boiling hot and sunny in the arena Tuesday morning and although I took the 22', 45' and the featherlight lines I didn't think we would do too much. It's half term and the yard was full of kids but for a while we had the arena to ourselves. Apart from Kes and Pickles loose, stretching their legs. I introduced the featherlight lines for a short while then it was onto the 45' line.

It turns out we were in the arena for a good hour. We walked the clover leaf pattern again and generally had a great time. After reading the Horsenality report again I thought we would have another try at canter. B happily established canter for a few laps so I asked her to go faster just for one lap! Oh boy, instead of exploding B relaxed and I really saw her enjoy moving. This was just fabulous. It being hot tho I made sure B got some cooling off time in walk and some fig 8. We finished the session with some hanging out time and B hung her head and wanted me to rub all over her face, for a long time. It helped to dry the sweat while she processed what had just happened.

Back at her stable I got a wet towel and washed her face and chest. She looked tired and very thoughtful and she wanted me close for a while. I had thought about doing some saddling approach and retreat but it really looked like B needed a rest. So I sat outside on her pedestal and she hung out with me until it was time to go home.

In the evening she gave me a very loud welcome and after her tea we went for a walk in the woods and some grazing time. B was very relaxed and happy. It's a great way to end the day in the very fragrant woods with B eating the lush grass and weeds.

Today we had another lesson with Claire. It was just as hot so B and I went for a walk in the woods before Claire arrived. Which was a nice way to start in the cool shade before the heat of the dusty arena. We had a brief warm up first and this time B was quite LBE and snotty on the circle game. I quite enjoy this side of her horsenality but I made sure I was persistent and she went in the direction I asked for.
Claire suggested we do some z 5 driving. I think I have not been close enough to B, believing I should be as fa away from her as possible. On getting closer we found B is incredibly claustrophobic in z 5! This proved to be quite a challenge for me too. I may be LBI but the minute I am asked to do something my brain goes into hyper drive. When Claire asked me what was going through my mind all I could do was make  a babbling sound and tell her it was like a little person in my head jabbering away uncontrollably. Think Homer Simpson going 'woo woo woo woo woo' in a high pitched voice. We both had a good laugh about this. Welcome to my world!

I had forgotten completely about friendly game just as a starter too so we had to really go back to basics until B could relax with me in z 5. Eventually, it seemed like a long time, I calmed enough to get driving game good but I have to say I found it very stressful and emotional. It's not just that B shows some displacement behaviour and that she is so claustrophobic but I found my own frustration at not getting it 'right' from the beginning, upsetting. I did initially feel there were too many holes in my knowledge but as Claire pointed out later on when our emails were flying to and fro, 'its not that there are holes, only more depth and understanding from each horse we play with. B is doing a great job of keeping you in the moment with her and insisting on taking things step by step and not leap by leap. She couldn't have found a more perfect partner as you truly understand the challenges she will go through. Isn't it interesting how these animals tap into our emotions we thought we hid well'.

When Claire had gone and B and I were back at her stable it was obvious B needed me close again. She licked my hands and the whole of my left arm! She didn't want to eat hay, just be with me. After a while I reluctantly walked her to the field for the rest of the day and went home.

Later on I got another loud welcome but after her tea all B wanted was to eat haylage. I laugh to myself when she is like this. Sandra and I joke about being the room service maids lol. Sometimes it's great to know B is happy and content to be left alone to eat.

Foodfest!

Although B was in a better mood today our pre ride play was pretty low key. It was quite hot in the arena and B seemed to need to do nothing in between some nice circle game, fig 8 and sideways. So we hung out and I gave her some time just to be.

When it came to saddling up back in the courtyard I had it in mind to think very carefully about putting B's feelings and wishes first. She was fine with putting the saddle on her back but every time I went to do up the girth she swished her tail. I immediately retreated and then tried again. Pretty soon she stopped swishing and the girth was tightened. B looked at me all the time with great interest and then was so relaxed she almost went to sleep.
She was a little distracted by the chance of food in open sheds when I went to get on. I let her move around and waited until she was ready. No tail swishing there!
One threshold today and then she trotted over the road! We had a great ride. Lots of trotting on a loose rein to begin with. The horses ate lots and were so relaxed it was a pleasure to sit and enjoy the sunshine and peace and quiet. We had chance to have a chat and a laugh. We went off piste and I realised how much the trees have sprouted this Spring by all the branches that bashed me around the head and face lol.We met a few kids by the viaduct that wanted to stroke the horses and I taught them the 'horseman's handshake. This also meant Bert and Sandra went up ahead and we lost sight of them. B stayed calm and we took our time catching up.
For most of the mile and 1/4 Sandra and I chatted while trotting and we were amazed at how fit both us humans and horses are these days. The horses stopped to eat at the last turn but B decided she wanted to go on in front. We headed off leaving Bert and Sandra behind. B seemed pretty confident and even managed to go some way past the exit before she reached a threshold and we turned for home, meeting up with Bert and Sandra to cross the road.

I thought B would like to go for a graze after I had hosed the sweat off her back so we went for a short time and played touch this on the blue barrels. It wasn't long before she wanted to go and relax in her stable. She loves her home comforts does my B.

Well I never!!!

Firstly I am going to tell you about our warm up and ride today, which was nothing short of marvelous and interesting.

The horse that showed up today was crabby, spooky and quite RB. I don't often see this in B these days but I am never surprised when she is like this. We had a challenging but interesting play and all thoughts of re visiting canter online went out of the window, especially when she kept turning her back to me and either going sideways or backing up to me. Whenever she does things like this I know she is feeling stressed and needs to do very little. I focussed on helping B be calm and play with things she enjoys and can feel good at. Half circles with me against the fence helped a lot. So did fig 8's and falling leaf. She couldn't go over a jump at all so I didn't ask again. Sideways was lovely too, some of the time. We also got to make progress on extreme friendly game, which has been a real challenge for B.

By the end of the play she was calm and happy and mirroring me so we left the arena. I gave her some time to rest after the hour we spent playing, then we got saddled up. I watched her closely after watching a session at the Celebration and to my dismay realised the tail swishing was quite obvious today. But as she stayed still I didn't worry about it too much. I will be spending some time on another day looking at this.

Getting on was marvelous and we stood and did nothing for a while. For the first time ever B had no thresholds leaving the yard. We turned left with Bert and Sandra in the lead and the horses spent the first bit of the ride eating and moving on. Lovely!

We trotted the whole of the mile and 1/4. B gave me the nicest, smoothest, relaxed trot I have felt to date. It was relaxed and seemingly effortless for both of us. The rest of the ride was great too. Both horses stopped on the viaduct part and despite lots of approach and retreat neither B or Bert could get unstuck. Luckily, Sam and Jewel (the yard stallion!) came towards us, stopped to say hello and get squealed at by B. Seeing another horse coming from the danger zone settled them both and we carried on up the straight and along the old woods. More delicious trotting, then weaving around trees and home. We were so relaxed I took a couple of videos on my phone! Might put them up on 'you tube' so they can be watched, sooner or later. They are not that interesting tho!

And now.......the incredible part of my post. Well not the only part. Our ride was incredibly good but this has been mind blowing for me. I got our Horsenality Report today and it was a big surprise. I have always believed B was RBI but lately as she has become more calm, she began to exhibit LB tendencies. How interesting! Because, it turns out she is on the cusp of RBE/LBE! At first I was horrified, shocked and then worried. I guess I have viewed these horsenalities as somewhat negative. Now that I have had time to read the report and read B today I have realised this is a real gift. It also explains why I have seen the changes in B and what I can do to further our partnership/relationship. It now feels like the sky's the limit!

My printer has had to work overtime to get all 117+ pages printed so that I can read the reports over and over again. Actually, I can hardly contain my excitement. Sadly there is no one I can turn to and talk it over with given that I am the only Parelli student at my yard. Looks like poor Claire will have to bear the brunt of my need for talking in our next lesson. Not very LBI of me, or is it? These are facts and ideas and stuff to follow. I am in Parelli heaven, again.

Flying by.

Time, that is! Must be an age thing because time is simply flying by and it's becoming harder and harder for me to find time to write everything down.
The Parelli Celebration was a fantastic event and as emotional for me as ever. Such an incredible time for immersing myself in Parelli with like minded people but I always cry. It was definitely more educational this year. Some very intense and interesting sessions with horses that had issues, some of it very moving.

I missed Breeze badly, this was the first time leaving her for almost a year!

I think she missed me judging by the loud greeting I got when I finally got to the yard Sunday evening! We spent an hour hanging out and I scratched all her itchy spots.

I bought a couple of shirts, another halter and this adorable RBI stuffed pony and a cup. I could have bought lots more stuff but managed not to! Except I have bought the horsenality/humanality report when I found it on the Parelli web shop today.

Connection.

It rained this morning so we got saddled up under cover. B wasn't too unhappy but did go introverted once the saddle was on. I gave her plenty of time to rest and as the rain had eased we headed to the arena for a warm up.

We had a great play, dare I say it, almost like dancing. B mirrored me as we weaved and turned, stopped and backed up. Circle game was marvelous with B happily doing all three gaits with a very light ask. I almost just have to think it and she will trot, then canter! Fabulous eh? How quickly she has accepted that cantering isn't so scary after all. I can hardly believe I was seeing such a change in her. We had stick to me at the trot and then canter too. I laughed as she snaked her head and it did feel like real play. What fun! I can feel online L3 is within our grasp now.

I had planned to just go around the old woods with Sandra and Bert but Bert turned left so we went all the way round the woods. Breeze was lovely. Her trot was superb and I am managing to keep a loose rein. She stayed calm and balanced and I could feel she was quite 'collected' using her back muscles. Good banana!

The horses stopped and ate quite a lot, they were so relaxed. But poor B either got stung by an unidentified insect or a plant while she grazed alongside the golf course car park. She was obviously quite unhappy about it and spent the last 1/4 of the ride throwing her head up and down, rubbing her nose on fences or letting me rub it for her. Another great use of lateral flexion. Sandra said she was doing strange things with her mouth too. When I got off back at the yard she had a swollen lip just in the corner of her mouth. I put some cooling cream on it and hoped it would be ok.

B has had a tiny bit of mud fever on one leg for a while now. I have tried Sudocrem etc but it will not go. So I ordered some Honey Heal from www.redhorseproducts.com and slapped it on the area. I am hoping this will do it. Breeze was very keen to sniff the tub and stood very still for me to put the cream on her leg. What a sweetheart she is. And just look at that gorgeous barefoot hoof! Every day I look at her feet and smile.

This evening we went for a graze and we played put your nose on the blue barrel where bits of carrot magically appeared. Back in her stable she didn't want to be groomed but asked me to rub her head. Her swollen lip had gone down completely and she seemed quite content to be left alone to eat her haylage.

More progress.

Sandra and I decided to leave mucking out until after riding so that we could get out in the glorious warm sunshine and maybe leave the yard earlier to go celebrate Mothers Day. We warmed up in the arena on the 22' and Breeze OFFERED canter!! She didn't go RB but was quite exuberant. I think she is really enjoying herself. I love her LB head shaking and how she asks questions and carries on when requested.

Saddling up was lovely as was getting on. Only a couple of very small thresholds leaving the yard. The horses ate and ate and ate down the start of the mile and 1/4 but trotted all of the rest of it. Over a mile. B was quite relaxed and slow. Sandra and I were chatting as we trotted! That's probably the most I have ever been relaxed with B trotting. I realise I have a lot more baggage to work through. That fear is still niggling away in the pit of my stomach. I will be raising these issues of mine on the Horseman's Series course very soon. Hopefully I will find some answers too.

No major spooks and B was very relaxed for most of the ride. Sandra and I talked about how far we have come and how much happier the horses are. I know B and I have a lot more to work through but I am looking forward to it. I feel very proud of what we have achieved. Yeah, I know, I am always saying this. Never get tired of it.

Canter on the 45' line!

We went to the arena last night to stretch our legs and I took the 45' with us. The yard was quiet as we were the only ones there. Breeze had a graze and I sat watching the sun go down.

Breeze is definitely a difference horse, more relaxed and lighter. She moves at the smallest cue and driving game has become something we do all the time like just walking around the yard or going from stable to field.

I wanted to re-visit canter online again and see how things were. The 45' gave her more drift which meant less pressure so she would have the room to be 'free'. I risked getting rope burn because I didn't have gloves but B only came close to running away once. With all that drift she realised she didn't have to run. I got almost dizzy watching her! For once I didn't trip or get caught up with all that rope.

I really enjoyed how light I can be using it. It made me chuckle to think of how I was four years ago when I started Parelli. The 12' felt like heavy cable. I felt self conscious and clumsy. I constantly tripped over it, got snagged in it and generally felt I would never get the hang of it. Then I started using the 22' and as I got used to that, the 12' began to feel like a bit of string. Interesting to note the 45' now makes the 22' feel like lumpy heavy cable, just like the 12' all those years ago.

The 45' is still no where near supple and 'broken in' but I am going to try and use it more now and get it a little better for Stoneleigh.