Drizzle.

I haven't used this waterproof sheet in ages. The last time was when Lizzie and I did a sponsored ride a couple of years ago. It certainly fits B better.

I admit I was a little anxious this morning when driving to the yard but I didn't let the negative thoughts get to me. There is no point thinking bad things will happen. I seem to have trained myself to turn the negatives into positives and I am getting very good at visualising a successful ride. And that's exactly what we had! In walk. All the way around the woods with only 2 spooks.

We started with saddling out of the rain in the walkway of the stable block. As soon as I showed B the saddle she sniffed it and licked it! Excellent. I had already played friendly game with the waterproof sheet and B stood still for me to put that saddle on her back and do the girth up. I used a shavings bag to put over the saddle and then we had a quick play in the school.

B was wonderful. She mirrored me perfectly and she didn't get tense about the other two riders there. Nice!

Today, instead of risking a fight leaving the yard I walked B over the road and got on in the pub car park. It took a few circles while I stood on a bench seat and B almost let me mount on her right side because that way she could look back over the road at her home lol. In the end I got on, on the left as usual and we set off into the woods.

Breeze was quite relaxed and spent most of the ride with her head down. She wasn't snorting as much as she has done in the past and she stopped to sniff poo and eat grass/leaves. Only one or two thresholds today too and I let her decide when she was ready to move on.

She attempted to bite Bertie on the bum a few times but I just stroked her and sometimes did some half halts by lifting the rein and bouncing it up and down. She seems to like the rhythm judging by her response. She slows down and keeps her distance.

I focussed on helping B stay relaxed and playing with sideways and more zig zag. We got some lovely sideways to the left although it was near the exit and the third time I asked for it she resisted and got annoyed, head in the air and breaking into trot to get nearer the exit.

All these photos were taken after our ride. I nagged Sandra into taking the ones of me on B as I never have enough! Then I let B mooch about and cool off a little before she went back in her stable.

Show me the carrots! I know they're in there somewhere!!

Winter's on it's way.

It's daylight saving time tomorrow and the clocks go back an hour. This means I get an extra hour in bed but it will now get dark at 4.30 in the afternoon!

It feels like I haven't done much with Breeze this week. I have been very busy at work and not getting to the yard until late. So we have been hanging out together and I have been focusing on asking B to let me pick her feet out and place them back down for her. She lifts them and holds them up for me now. This morning she stood on the pedestal and I cleaned her feet out there lol. there has been some mud to wrestle with too and B is getting more relaxed about grooming.

We have had some very short play in the school over the week. She has offered a lot so I have ended the sessions the minute she did something good.

This morning we went into the school without the c/s and B kept switching off. She couldn't do anything but drop her head and stare into nothing. So we left and played with the two pedestals outside her stable. I mucked out and then we went back in with the c/s.

B was a different horse lol. No thresholds, no dropping of the head. We did have some brace but this time I made sure I didn't let her back up and not do as I asked. Her bracing is becoming much less of an issue and she comes towards me quite quickly and easily now. We got some lovely falling leaf in trot and then circle game, although I did have to tag the ground to get trot. She didn't blow up at all and then offered to jump over a jump and turn and face me. We played with this a few times. She was delightful and I couldn't help but laugh and enjoy the moment. So lovely to see B's enthusiasm and energy. I wonder if she is becoming more confident in herself.

This evening I got to the yard late again and thought because B had been in her stable all day she might like a walk. It was obvious she was hungry and wanted her dinner so I gave her that first. I rugged and haltered her and asked her out of her stable with the rope draped over her withers. She walked out and across the courtyard with me and waited by the shed while I topped up her hay net. We walked together back to her stable where she stopped by her hay net which I had hung outside and began to eat. So much for the walk lol. I left her untied and she just stood and munched while I mucked out and finished for the evening.

I don't want to!

Breeze and Brown Bertie have a grooming session over the arena fence.

It's been an interesting week for B and I. We didn't ride until today. Instead I spent my time with B playing in the school or just hanging out with her. I have kept the play sessions short and set B up for success. We have slowly been chipping away at her bracing online and I have been asking for a teeny bit of sideways over things without letting her get addicted to it again.

Breeze has also done a few things I haven't seen her do before, or things she could do but refused to let me see her do lol. All four feet on the pedestal and then standing with fronts one one pedestal and backs on the other for a start. Last night she dozed in her stable while I sat and did nothing. The other night when I went to leave for the night she hung her head over the stable door and rested her nose on my shoulder and breathed in my ear while I scratched her face and ears. Occasionally she would nuzzle my ear and hair and I nearly cried because it felt like a very special moment.

While writing this I have realised she hasn't trodden on her rope at all this week, that's new too. Picking her feet out has got much better. We had a lovely soft play to see what mood she was in and saddling today was just as good as it gets really. She wanted to put her nose on the saddle the minute I got it out and she didn't walk away when I offered it up to her back. Getting on was lovely too.

And then it all went pear shaped lol! Breeze did not want to leave the yard. It wasn't fear, it wasn't a threshold, is was pure and simple 'I don't want to and you can't make me'! Every time I asked her forwards she wanted to turn around but only to the left. I tried asking for LF to the right but she just backed up and I am really trying to be soft but assertive so I didn't want to force the issue. So we did a lot of LF and I mean a lot. I waited and waited and tried again and again while Sandra patiently waited for me. It didn't help when someone asked me if I was ok and laughed when I said I was but I was waiting for B to decide for herself that it was ok. I even thought I might cry but managed not to as I sat there trying to find the right arrow in my quiver. Then it hit me, Breeze was not going to be a partner so....I hopped off! Then we walked across the road and I got on from a bench in the pub car park and we headed off into the woods calmly and happily.

I have been watching a lot of Parelli dvd's over and over. 'Behaviour shaping for the horse' has really made an impact on me and given me a lot to think about and put into practice. Taking my freestyle abilities further is not something I thought I would ever have to do when I had Lizzie. Looks like now I am on a very steep learning curve again and I had better up my game even more asap! I have mixed emotions about this. Since the very beginning of my Parelli journey I have watched others in awe and some jealousy, wishing I could do that. My unconfident side thinks I can't do it anyway. My fearful side says it doesn't want to even try. The rest of me thinks well, just give it a go and see what happens.

I wonder if my teeny bit of apprehension today got through to Breeze because of what happened last week. But I gave it a lot of thought all week and visualised a successful ride and I was focused on dealing with what ever Breeze would give me. So I did ppl most of the way around the old woods, pushing that bad banana out! Breeze was lovely. She didn't brace or get tight and did a lot of blowing out. We walked all the way and did a lot of weaving and circling to the right. I saw that B is resistant to right turns and thought more of them would help her. I found she didn't know how to go sideways! Not from the saddle. But I managed to teach her a basic sideways to the left, that being her strong side for now. I think B enjoyed the weaving and circling, even managing to go around Bert and Sandra away from home. She was very responsive and I am managing to do more in my body now to ask her to turn and am using the reins less and less. Which is great because I have to constantly remind myself not to hold tightly to the reins and have soft hands. So easy for me to brace!

We stopped at the exit without B bracing and Sandra and Bert carried on alone. Breeze waited patiently as the endless, it seems, amount of carsd went past before we could cross the road. We had a mooch around the yard and had a play with put your nose on this and then some lovely back up without using the reins! Time to get off after scratching her and giving her bits of carrots and a big thank you.

These are some photos from yesterdays chill in the woods. Breeze was very relaxed and happy and we had a great time hanging out together.

Zone 1

Breeze and I went for our (almost regular now) Tuesday morning walk in the woods. I had an idea to see what she is like being directed by the c/s in zone 1 and it was very interesting. I have waited a while to do this as she was quite head shy at first. Now I found she tried to totally ignore it and often bumped into it but without exploding. I had a think about this as we walked along with me in zone 3 and 5, wondering what her mum would have done when Breeze was a foal if she had ignored her mum's wishes lol.

I had no need to go up the phases at all and that was nice to see. I left it totally up to B to decide if she would move where I asked her to or walk into the c/s. Very interesting to see the exact point at which B switches from unconfident and not listening to being soft eyed and following my slightest suggestion. Leaving the yard she didn't have any thresholds today but instead she ignored me and just tried to go off in whatever direction she wanted, pulling on the rope. I bumped her a couple of times to get her attention and in the short distance from her stable to the road I had both her eyes on me. I find I have to do this when we saddle up sometimes because she insists on moving back or forwards when I put the saddle up to her back. I will let her do this up to a point but it becomes too much of an LB game so I interrupt the pattern and she stands still.

We went down to the first turn on the mile and 1/4 again and B was a lot more relaxed. We played eat here and here and here. I love it when she gets so responsive we can stand next to each other and she will mirror my exact movements stepping back and forwards together. She didn't want to carry on down the bridle path so we played approach and retreat using the c/s again to direct her. I think she was a little surprised when trying to put her head way up in the air to avoid me that I could still reach with the c/s and block her!

We had a little practice at walking past the exit without getting emotional and wanting to go home immediately. Then on to the tree stump and she hopped up on it without hesitation. Then home and out to the field. As I watched her go from the gate three male pheasants walked out of the bushes unaware that I was there. I stayed a while to see Breeze go and have a drink, roll and then greet the herd. She trotted around a little then settled down to graze next to one of her best buddies.

November the 5th is looming and last night some bright spark (pun intended) was setting off fireworks from the pub garden just at the same time I went to get B in from the field. That made the catching game very 'interesting' as every time I got next to B it coincided with a bang and her and the herd would spook and run away and around me. After a few tries I decided to just stand with my back to her and wait. Almost immediately I felt and heard her breath in my ear and we haltered and made our way to the gate.

Breeze had lots of thresholds, no surprise there, so we spent some time walking around the yard while the fireworks exploded above our heads. Interestingly she became very calm with me despite the chaos. Excellent.

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

I don't know if I have been really savvy or not but in any case what happened today has had an incredible affect on me. And its good! I think lol.

We had a lovely play in the school before saddling up (which didn't go as smoothly as before). Breeze stood on the pedestal with all four feet and then put her fronts on the wooden pedestal next to it!! I watched her face as she got up on the pedestal and could see she knew I was asking her to get her back feet up too. Usually she just leaps off if I ask her forward. Today she thought about it and decided it was worth doing as I asked lol. Clever girl!

I got on and B was incredibly calm and happy. We just stood around and waited for Sandra. For once I was ready before her and Bert! We didn't have as much trouble leaving the yard. B had a few thresholds but I let her rest and waited until she could move.

We let the horse eat whenever they wanted down the first bit of the mile and 1/4 until the turn where we had a trot. B did her jiggly trot so we played with transitions and let Bert and Sandra go ahead and give us space because whenever B got near Bert she bit his bum! We got a nice trot and then she offered the most beautiful canter I have ever felt, all too briefly because we were soon on top of Bert and Breeze pushed past him. Ooops!

We managed to ride side by side for a while with Sandra preserving her herd of two if B made to bite Bertie. After that she stopped having a go at him and Sandra and I were able to have a chat. Then we played weave along the road by the golf course, cafe in and out if the fence posts. I am really getting the hang of turning with all of my body and hardly need the reins. I am sure B loves this game too.

Breeze took the lead for most of the ride and it all went nicely until the top of the old woods. I asked B to turn down the straight but she refused. Sandra and Bert passed us and carried on while B and I played the 'out donkey the donkey' game. Eventually B decided she would carry on down the straight and I expected to see Sandra and Bert ahead at any moment.

Well, we never did catch them up. We turned right into the old woods and B began to jig. I asked her to walk and we did this for a while. I could feel she was getting unconfident and asked for trot because I thought getting nearer home quicker would help. Her trot got ragged which was a little uncomfortable and I realised I wasn't very balanced. Lately I have been using the reins for balance and hanging on to them when we go into trot. I am really trying not to do this! Funny how quickly we develop bad habits and then it takes a long time to retrain ourselves and so easy to fall back into old habits. She began shaking her head, which I have noticed she does when she is getting emotional, and then we were cantering! It wasn't the calm comfortable canter we had earlier, it was probably what is described as 'bombing off' and she was running in a panic. I felt very detached and calm when I realised all this was going on. Usually I go back to the awful fearful place I was in just before I fell off and ended up in hospital but today was different. Why I wonder. Is it because I have more savvy and I understand Breeze? I have come a long way since then and perhaps I have really learned to ride? I certainly felt determined not to fall off and was 'in the moment' knowing I had to help Breeze.

I asked her to slow down, nothing happened. I grabbed her mane and reached down for that rein and turned her with all my strength but still nothing happened. How interesting. In a split second I saw a tree up ahead and focussed on that, turning B's head more and we stopped with B's shoulder almost on the tree and her head over the fence. I sat there trying to feel how she felt. She was shaking! More than me it seems too. I stroked her neck and was amazed to find I wasn't worried or scared for myself but concerned for B. I thought about getting off but when I let the rein slacken she jigged off so we spent more time just resting with her in lateral flexion until she could be calm. I don't know why I didn't want to get off. Perhaps I thought we could sort this out from the saddle even though I know it can be done from the ground. I found if I stroked her and talked to her she got calm and I just waited until I felt she was ready to go home.

She was a little tense until the top of the old woods so I kept stroking her and talking to her and just thinking calm thoughts. When we got past the turn then we played a lot of weave, circle and fig 8 around the trees to get her mind working and give her lots to think about. I remember talking to her saying, now pay attention because we are going to do a lot of this and I don't want you making assumptions lol. Breeze blew out and relaxed until we got to the exit. There is a playground in the pub garden and the screaming kids seem to make B tense again. So we did some one rein stops again and I gave her time to stand and relax. Then we left the woods and went back home.

Back at the yard Sandra was putting her tack away and said she had tried to call me but got no reply. It was then that I realised I had lost my precious Blackberry! I had to put B away in her stable and Sandra and I trudged back to the old woods where luckily I found my phone. Oh happy day!

I hung out with B and brushed off the now dried sweat from her back with her not protesting so much for once lol. Phew! What a day! I guess I will spend my time thinking this over and guarding against any negative thoughts. It remains to be seen if I keep my cool for the next ride. I do feel very proud of myself and am hoping I have helped B overcome things too. But I know how very well practiced I am at belittling my achievements and how I let those nasty thoughts I get spoil it for me.

Playtime

The last couple of evenings I have been playing with B in the school in the dark and light rain. I don't get to the yard until well after dark now so we make the most of the time whatever the weather.

Last nights session was quite short and low key with a lot of dwell time and I did have doubts about what purpose it served to stand under the lights and do very little lol.

This evening things had changed and I noticed our draw is getting really good. B tried to brace against me but because we have been working on draw she never goes to that place at the moment. We had some really good back up over poles and yo yo to the end of the 22' line. As for circle game, I have been very careful to keep my energy down and we haven't had much circle at all. This evening Breeze would offer one lap and come in or a bit of a lap and come in. I would thank her and stroke her and send her out again. This progressed to just slowing down again but if I asked she would carry on ok. Then I asked with more energy and we got several laps in walk and trot! Slowly but surely we are making progress.

Mile and 1/4 walk.

I have a rotten head cold and didn't feel like riding. But it was such a lovely sunny morning I thought a walk in the woods would be good for me and I wanted to spend some undemanding time with B. We had a graze by the arena first and I focussed on letting B decide where SHE wanted to go. We spent some time eating grass but she walked into the arena twice. Initially it was to go and stare at the herd in the field and I turned that into a slow walk around the arena with me picking blackberries and feeding them to B. I didn't ask anything of her, we just picked and ate blackberries. The second time we trotted side by side and had a bit of a silly play with some stick to me which was fun, dodging around each other and me giggling.

We headed off over the road and this time B didn't have any thresholds leaving the yard. Cool. We played eat here and here with some lovely lush grass and made our way to the first turn where there is a gateway from the road to the footpath. Every time Breeze and I have ridden down here she has really wanted to go and see this exit. Until now she hasn't been calm enough or confident enough to go there.

A man appeared when we got there eating a pear. I suggested he had better hide the pear because pear is B's favourite food. He smiled, asked if it was OK and gave it to her! Of course she ate it all in one go. He was a Polish worker from the football training ground that's being built just down the road. We had a brief chat about the area and he joked he should come back with a couple of kilos of pears lol. I warned him B would try and eat the lot in one go.

Today I asked her in to have a look. She wanted to go along the footpath but I didn't think it was a good idea. It's a little too narrow for a big horse like B to turn if she needed to.

We played yo yo in and out and we both went fully in to have a look. There is the busy road the other side and although B wanted to go and look I didn't think it was safe. Next she had a good look down the mile and 1/4 then we turned for home. We went past the exit with a little direction from the c/s but not a lot of resistance. Then it was back to the yard to spend the rest of the day out in the sunshine.