Things feel different these days.

Here's an earlier post I forgot to post from the beginning of the month. I don't know why the photos aren't coming up though.

Had a great lesson with Claire on 2nd August. Spent a long time with saddling and getting on. I think I have got into a pretty stale routine with B and not taking any notice of her thresholds. No longer! We have been spending lots of time going very slowly with saddling and getting on since then.
Saturday we rode and it was fabulous. Played in the arena, saddled up in the courtyard and got on. B couldn't leave the yard and was only happy in the courtyard so I got off and we walked over to the pub car park where B immediately lined up by the bench. Talk about green light to get on! She was practically shouting at me! Lol. Not surprisingly we had a great ride. B kept her distance from Bert. No spooking and trotting was lovely. We had set off around the old woods but when we got to the turn where we could go home B refused to go any further. She wanted to go home. So I said bye to Sandra and let B go home!
It was quite a relaxed walk and we had a trot up the hill. B felt tense when we got to the top and I thought I had better get off. The second I thought it she relaxed and we carried on home weaving through the trees and having a great time.

Sunday was a whole different day. Warm up was good until I got the featherlights on and B showed how bracy and unconfident she could be, just like when we ride. All she wanted was to head for the gate and get out of there. I saddled up in the courtyard and it really blew B's mind. It was the most engaged she has been yet, paying close attention to what I was doing. She has almost stopped stepping back now. When we were ready and waiting for Sandra and Bert she came and stood ext to me, hung her head really low and switched off. I stroked her head and massaged between her ears for ages it seems. B was really inside her head and it worried me a little. I haven't seen her go this deep in a long time. When she came out of it we followed Sandra and Bert online over the road where B went introverted again. That made me decide not to ride. We let Sandra go off and hung around to eat grass and stuff.

Since then I have been chatting to my connected members on Parelli Connect and feeling like I have more information. Not to mention some wonderful support. I think I have been ignoring my own thresholds and the fear has been eating away at me but I have not acknowledged it. Combined with B's hormones as she has been in and out of season all summer we have both lost confidence.

Taking care of B.

We had quite a low key play in the arena to begin with and saddled up there too. The first time I tried B couldn't stand still for me to even try to swing the saddle near her. While letting her rest and play friendly game I watched Sandra and Bert struggle with circle game. I asked Sandra if I could have a play which gave B a long rest.

We played again when S and B had gone to saddle up and to my surprise B wanted me to saddle from the left. We got some lovely circle game in trot and canter after that.

I have decided to take B over to the woods online for the time being. It is too much pressure for her if I try and ride over there, it seems. That's a real eye opener. What a difference it made, I had a happy confident LB horse who wanted to eat EVERYTHING! Got on beautifully by the 'loop' and Sandra said B was licking and chewing a lot. We set off and B kept her distance from Bert. Lovely.

We had a lovely ride all the way down the straight but when we got to the old woods turn B stopped and wouldn't go further. She turned a few times and instead of letting her go the way she wanted I got off! First time I have done this and not before I jokingly pleaded with B 'please don't make me get off, pleeease!' lol. Just as well I did, because B was running circles around me for a while until we caught up with Sandra and B.
Oh boy it was a long walk from then on! I tried to get on in various places but I could hear that little child whining in my head ' I can't!' and I gave up for a while. The problem seems to be feeling balanced enough up on the fence and then worrying about the fact that when B is lined up it's big leap of faith onto her back and I was too worried she would move!

So we walked along, actually we had a trot, side by side with Sandra and Bert coming up behind. I am more fit than I thought, just need to be a bit more flexible and balanced. I hate being my age! I spotted a likely place to get back on along the last stretch of the mile and 1/4 and despite two riders coming towards us B was calm and happy for me to get on. She strode off in front confident of where she was going. We trotted a bit but it felt very emotional so I bent B to a stop. Just as we reached the pub the horses spooked badly at what sounded like someone throwing bricks into a metal bin and B jumped out of her skin and spun around. I clung on and went with her until I could bend her to a stop. Sandra dismounted and we made our way to the exit. I got off then too and we walked the horses home. It was beginning to rain and started to really pour down as we got to the stables.

B was very cuddly back in her stable. She just wanted to hang out with me and be scratched. How great is that! We watched the rain together for a while then I reluctantly got on with the rest of my day. I am plotting tho! Plotting taking a wheelbarrow into the woods to the wood yard and stealing some logs to place around the bridle path for me to get on next time!

Changes and testing times

For the first time in many years I haven't blogged for 11 days. I have been posting more and more on Parelli Connect and it seems once I have done that all the words about our latest happenings disappear from my brain!
Plus I have been ill with a virus, my Patterjack dog killed a goose at the yard and I just felt all wrong. Made some very major changes in my personal life too so things are very different for me at the moment.
We have been playing a lot and making great breakthroughs online while our freestyle riding has deteriorated.
The last time I rode was Saturday and some of it wasn't very pleasant. B refused to leave the yard so instead of trying all our usual stuff I hopped off and asked her to do lots of things as we crossed the yard, road and into the woods. Travelling circles, falling leaf, yield HQ and once in the woods zone 5 driving to the log where I got on. I had butterflies in my guts for most of the time and although I think they were flying in formation it wasn't until we went in the lead after the last turn that I relaxed completely.

When I woke up Sunday morning the thought of riding made me feel sick! We played in the arena with Sandra and Bert joining us for a while. It was only when I told Sandra I wouldn't be riding that the sick feeling went. Immediately! After Sandra left we were in the arena for 2 hours! Even the boiling hot sun didn't seem to bother me. I swapped between 22', 45' and the featherlight lines. The featherlights were the most interesting. It's only the second time I have used them and this time I really understood how. It was very interesting to see how B reacted to them, showed all her braciness which I experience when riding.

When we had enough playing I took the line off and tried some liberty. Although B left energetically it was very easy to catch her. I just walked past and she kind of hooked on and came with me. I am still keeping near the gate and it was great fun to see her blasting around but still coming back to me for a butt scratch before I put the line back on we left.

I spent the whole weekend pondering what is going on and what I needed to do about it. Couldn't quite put my finger on it but I am sure when I do it will be a BFO!