Negative into positive

What a glorious Autumn day! It started off dull and windy as we grazed around the yard. Sandra and I grazed both our horses side by side which was great, in contrast to the traditional stuff going on in the arena. When the arena was empty, after saddling up very nicely, Breeze and I went in for a short play. Interestingly Breeze went introverted after I praised her for doing some particularly great circle game. Our draw has improved a lot and she mirrored everything I did from zone 3 as we did our pre-flight checks.

Getting on was lovely. Calm and polite. As soon as we got out of the courtyard B went RB somewhat and couldn't go towards the gate to the road. We played approach and retreat while Sandra and Bert waited for us. Interestingly B could give me LF to the left to turn around but not on the right. I did ask for it and finally I persisted, she turned to the right and immediately relaxed and walked forwards.

As we entered the woods and went down the mile and 1/4 it really felt like B was totally LBI and sticking her tongue out at me as it were. Sandra said she had a sullen look on her face and her mouth was tight. She wanted to stop and eat all over the place so we played lets go eat here and here and here. We passed another horse from the yard, chilling and eating grass. Breeze got going after that but she kept trying to bite Bertie. When we trotted it was her uncomfortable ragged trot so we went back to walk. Everything bothered her. Riders coming up behind her made her very unconfident and claustrophobic. She would stop and turn to look at them, then the golfers the other side of the hedges, then try and run off ahead. I tried lots of scratches and strokes and partial disengagement but it didn't really help and I began getting a bit annoyed. I started to doubt my horsemanship, blaming myself for Breeze being RB. Did I not do enough before I got on. Did I read her incorrectly. Why couldn't I help her today? Then I found I was thinking I wasn't good enough to be her leader and going to Stoneleigh next year would be a disaster. Amazing how much negativity a person can cram into a few minutes of time!!!

By this time we had been passed by a few more riders and then got to the viaduct and the conservation project. I snapped back to reality and thought oh boy here we go with B's thresholds lol. As it turns out there was a local riding school group of about 5 and we all joined together to make a bigger, safer herd for the horses and we all got passed the horse eating mud pile and machinery together.

The group went off ahead and we went into the old woods. It occurred to me that B and I are both quite claustrophobic then and now we had somewhere to go and do stuff that wasn't just going in a straight line! We weaved and circled around trees and went into the woods, around Bert and Sandra, in the opposite direction and back again to them. Breeze relaxed and was listening to me now! We had a great ride form then on. Her trot was lovely and we even dodged around trees and the log where we get on sometimes. It felt like a slalom ride and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. We trotted up to the trees where we weave and B was really enjoying herself now lol. Circles, fig 8's away from Bert and Sandra and no objections from B. At the exit I asked her to carry on, leaving Bert ad Sandra standing at the exit!! This was a real first and blew my mind lol. Breeze got to stop and turn for home then.

Got any carrots?

Breeze blew out loads as we crossed the road and I decided perhaps we could stay together a bit longer so we mooched around the yard for a good 20 mins. Going here and there, standing around and generally having a ball. We chatted to Sandra and a few others. I have often wanted to do this but never have because I have let fear or lack of time put me off. I definitely felt Breeze tense as we went passed the arena gate. I whispered in her ear that we weren't going in there today and not to worry. One day we will, we are just not ready yet.

The sun warmed us and I stuffed B's face with carrots until it was time to get off. I unsaddled her and she followed me around to where I hosed her legs off with the rope resting on her back. She walked off now and again but it's easy to grab the rope and ask her back to me. I let her stay out in the courtyard while she ate hay and let me scratch the sweat off her coat, it seemed such a shame to have to put her back in her stable on such a lovely day.

I found a new itchy spot this morning as B and I stood together on the pedestal. While I scratched the base of her neck at the top of her chest she groomed me back! I am making my way into her heart, slowly but surely lol. Could I ever wish for anything else?