Relationship IN the saddle.

Today was HUGE!!! I can hardly type I am so full of excitement, energy and joy! Had a lesson with Claire Burgess today and B and I rode in the arena!!! We played for 3/4 of an hour before the lesson and Claire turned up just in time to see B cantering on the 45 like a very relaxed LBE! Downwards transitions with no explosions and then back up into canter again! I love to watch this LBE of mine starting to enjoy the sensation of cantering instead of the RBE running scared.

I can't quite remember what happened after that until we were doing some saddle prep. I probably rabbited on and on about the last month and what we have been up to. I feel compelled to tell Claire as much as I can and I remembered to ask about this continuing switching off that B does now and again. We had a bit of a day of it Sunday when lately her introversion had almost disappeared. B will always go there. there will be times when I hardly notice and others when I worry about it. Just the way she is. I know how to give her the support she needs so it will never be too much of a worry.


B was so LB I found I needed to be very particular about her standing in exactly the same spot to be saddled when she moved. Her behaviour until recently has been RBE , she has needed a lot of care and taking things slowly and being very careful with her emotions. It is wonderful to see the LBE side of her emerging, even LBI some of the time. There are times when I wonder if I can really deal with her and that perhaps I should have settled for another sensible cob type. But we are far down the road in our relationship now and I couldn't part with Breeze. We are well and truly partners and the idea of losing her is unthinkable. Plus she is so different now. I should do another horsenality chart and see where we are. B will always be innately RBE/LBE and sometimes go to extremes but in general I think she has become a lot more settled and even.


I upped my leadership, got saddled, did the girth up too quickly (sorry B)  and got on like I did it every day. Claire remarked on how nice and quick and excellent it was lol. I needed a little adjustment as it looks like I have got into a habit of perching too far forwards. This might explain my tension last Sunday. I think it's been creeping up on me slowly and I had got out of the habit of checking my position. Into power position and relax, what a difference it made immediately. Guess what, B relaxed too! We sat there and did nothing. That is such a bid deal for us. I have dreamed of this day when B and I would be back in that arena doing nothing. In her life before me it's always been work, work, work, move now, here, there, until she knew nothing but get it done now! My own experience of arena riding has been some lessons when I first learned to ride on unwilling uncooperative school horses, then lessons with Lizzie who did as I asked grudgingly. Followed by B and I attempting to do some follow the rail after our course at Stoneleigh and I see now I was far too tense and direct line. Plus, the magic of Stoneleigh does wear off especially when you go back to a 'normal' yard. B was a different horse on our course, surrounded by love and understanding and that wonderful Parelli bubble.

Next some lateral flexion, a few adjustments again and it was superb. I had jokingly told Claire B has trouble with the right side...not if you ask nicely lol. We had a little walk around, I asked B to turn away from the gate, she braced, I tensed and leaned forward. A little reminder from Claire about focus and persistence and B relaxed and went where I asked! At this point Claire asked what I should do as we stopped and I let out a big sigh, Claire jokingly said and now you Breeze.......B let out an even bigger sigh. Wish we had got that on camera!

It's all about the relationship IN the saddle, not just the leadership. I knew something was missing and this is it! Probably very obvious to everyone but me. I just couldn't pin point what I needed to do and how. Fear got in the way. I cannot describe how it felt. I think B has learned such a lot since i got her and changed dramatically. I have a habit of belittling my achievements and doubt my ability all the time. To feel even more relaxation in her and feel really safe was a revelation. I know we have come such a long way but new things become familiar and get taken for granted. As I explained to Claire, it's so difficult to gauge progress when you have no one and nothing around you to compare with. I concentrate on not looking at what goes on around me but all the same I am influenced no matter how hard I try not to be. I have found no matter how many Parelli dvd's I watch, celebrations I go to and courses I go on there is no substitute for someone being there when you need them in person to help and point the way. I am always astonished at how good Claire is as a teacher too. I get her and she gets me. It doesn't seem to matter how badly we explain things we understand what we are trying to say. Most importantly she understands the nature of my fear and even more importantly knows how to help me overcome it.

When I got off, amazingly gracefully I have to say......in front of Claire I usually make a mess of everything that requires balance and coordination, I was amazed to see B's expression. Complete calm and relaxation. She looked totally LB and as if she had actually enjoyed herself. I know that's anthropomorphism but there was no mistaking her mood. I watched her mosey out into the field swinging her butt without any tension in her body at all and couldn't help but grin like an idiot!

Different horse, different day. Or is it different day, different horse!?

We had our usual (of late) short and sweet warm up in the arena. Today we got canter on the circle game and although B needed a cuddle afterwards she wasn't too emotional. Saddling was good and we found a few thresholds leaving the yard. I got on as usual in the pub car park. Today was a bit busy with a local riding school group were in the car park and three others from the yard came along all at the same time. Far too much pressure for B who just could not move from the entrance. I got off just as Sandra and Bert came to find us. We played online until we got to 'the loop' where I eventually got on. B decided she would much rather eat than stand for me to get on lol!

Another relaxed ride with no stops, some nice trot around the old woods, until we got to 'the straight' where B was adamant she wanted to go home. Ok by me, so we set off home alone. We passed the riding school group and B stayed calm as they passed but got emotional after so we trotted up the hill to the top. She didn't break gait at all but needed some focus when I asked for walk. We weaved trees and zig zagged and it felt really good. We got to the 'log trailer' where the sunlight made something look odd. Poor B couldn't stand it and turned and made to run. Not far tho and I was still calm and unafraid. A couple of hesitations and we got past. I stroked her and soothed her and pretty soon she was calm, so we made our way the rest of the way home. I had time to make sure I was relaxed and do a bit of pushing passenger too.

Crossing the road we were joined by the three we met on the way out and B spent the time waiting for a break in the traffic making faces at one of the geldings! And again when we got across the road and onto the yard lol. Opinionated LBE mare or unconfident RBE?

Indiana Jones riding

You can't see it in the photo but it chucked it down with rain as we set off for a ride. B and I had played briefly in the arena and got ready well before Sandra and Bert (my regular riding buddies) so we had done some mounting practice in the yard. Interesting how little prep we need at the moment. B is totally LB and looks like she knows all her jobs and just gets on with it. But she was having none of me getting on in the courtyard and wouldn't give me permission to get on. Once we were over the road in the pub car park she lined up with a great look on her face. Sandra says she looks interested and happy, watching me get on and looking to where we are going.
We were chilling and letting the horses eat when the heavens opened. B and I sheltered under a tree while Bert and Sandra got a bit wet so Bert could find a really tasty bit of bush to eat!

The horses were happily munching away, the rain eased and we set off when a group of 8 or so walkers came along the footpath parallel with the bridle path. Bert freaked out because they had stopped and were staring at us, then when they moved it was really slowly and creepily and it was just too much for Bert who turned and squeezed past us and ran a few paces back. Then B joined in. It's interesting to see how I have changed. Although her RB reaction gets me pulse racing a little I am not terrified at the moment. This is a really big thing! So this went on for a while, approach and retreat past the creepy walkers, even tho we asked them to act normally but don't stare. Then a pony and rider I know came along which was too much for B and I had to get off. She was retreated further and further back to the exit and I don't get into arguments with her when she can't do things.

We walked online to where I could get on, catching up with Bert and Sandra and off we went very happily. B felt like a different horse. She was relaxed and calm and just so LB I couldn't stop smiling. We trotted along the mile and 1/4 until we caught up with the prancing pony from earlier on and walked a bit. Sandra and I chatted away and I think we were a little away with the faeries, not noticing a group of golfers by the cafe. Suddenly Bert was freaking out because one of them had opened an umbrella! Poor Bert, He had done a 180 turn and stood some distance away, tense and staring at the group of golfers. B had reacted to Bert and followed in hot pursuit with me grabbing a big handful of mane and hanging on for dear life until I got lateral flexion.

Normal service was resumed when the golfers walked off, one of them apologising and promising to slap the one with the umbrella lol. We carried on round to the old woods like nothing had happened, even passing someone behind a hedge mowing their lawn without incident. In the rain.. Laughing and joking, talking about what had been happening. Bert decided we should go off piste so we detoured into the woods. B wanted to trot, it's bit too much squeeze game for her sometimes,and got too close to Berts butt. Suddenly he was telling her in very clear terms that she was too close by bunny hopping and giving her both barrels of hind feet! B was very quick to react and stayed just out of range...after that she kept her distance! I had felt her front end come up and saw Berts butt bobbing up and down in front of me and in the nano second it took my brain to process what was happening calm was restored. This was when Sandra and I decided our rides were starting to feel like mini adventures not dissimilar to Indiana Jones movies! Great fun and very entertaining but sometimes when we get back to the yard we feel a bit exhausted by it all!

The rest of the ride was lovely. I marveled at how relaxed B was, how well we weaved the trees..we got a compliment from some riders we passed just further on. I had got a bit down and anxious all week wondering if I really knew what I was doing and despite having a great ride Thursday with a different riding buddy I find I do like to beat myself up and think I am useless! I expect to get scared and feel anxious and then have B do the same. Lately that hasn't happened but I still expect it all to go back to how it has been for far too long. Looks like getting off is doing B and my confidence such a lot of good that it takes me by surprise. I guess I didn't expect what an impact it would make and how easy it would be!

I was thinking later on about how B felt riding her. I can detect a difference, a softening if you like. Less resistance. I remembered when we got back to the yard and B decided to have a mosey around the back of the courtyard. Going back into the courtyard I asked her to turn a certain way and I felt a tiny, tiny bit of brace and then she relaxed and did as I asked. That's a tiny little change but a huge one at the same time. Really brings home the issues sha has and how we are working through them.