Sunday again.

It feels like it's been a strange week. Perhaps it's just the fall out after my lesson, being back to reality and work, no rest and play lol. I am willing the evenings to get lighter for longer and at the same time having trouble getting used to the slightly longer days lol. It's still a disappointment when darkness falls. Oh well, it will be summer soon.

We have played every day since our lesson on Tuesday. It has been fun, interesting and challenging for me. Probably because I have the desire to progress and B is always on the brink of going introverted. It feels like she has been like this for a long time, when it isn't very long. I wonder if I am just waiting for the breakthrough when she will get past that. I hope she gets past it! We have gone from B exploding in the beginning, to going very introverted, to being on the edge so I am thinking that logically, things will change sooner or later.

Anyway, enough of my own introversion! Where was I ... oh yes, play. We went into the arena before riding. The others were too much pressure for B but this time she didn't go too introverted. I concentrated on asking B to focus on me while we played falling leaf, sideways without a fence away and to me, wrap around both sides, back up/yo yo between tall jump sides and some very quiet circle game in walk. I asked her a few times to go over a jump but she couldn't. Finally she did, so we ended the session there an I backed B around the gate and out of the arena. Go Breeze!

Saddling up was excellent, as was getting on and we left the yard with Bert and Sandra without any thresholds at all. And B decided she would be brave and lead down the mile and 1/4. A green banner had been put up along the way and both horses could not go past initially. I waited and then asked and Breeze walked past it and carried on past the turn, out of sight of Bert and Sandra. So nice to realise I am leader and that B and I have enough confidence and trust in each other to be partners.

This was pretty much how the ride went. Breeze was relaxed and pretty calm and we rode side by side most of the time. We didn't ride the old woods. . . the going was really sloppy and neither horse was really enjoying dragging through the mud. We decided to go up the straight and both horses wanted to trot. We trotted ahead all the way up! Breeze didn't quite maintain gait so I had fun asking her to please carry on. She stayed relaxed and didn't go RB.

At the top both horses decided home was the priority and they both trotted along quite fast, Breeze weaving the trees, Sandra and I giggling at the fast pace as we dodged each other along the bridle path.

We were passed by a big group of riders and Breeze stayed calm. She is definitely getting used to other riders now. There was another large group in the pub car park when we left the woods and she still didn't react.

Back on the yard we had a mosey about, Sandra took the photos for me and then I reluctantly got off. Sandra and I played silly b's trying to blow shedding horse hair at each other and running around B dodging each other. Breeze just stood and took no notice of us. Sandra is always blowing Berts' white hair at me, he is shedding a lot. Breeze in comparison, although shedding hasn't grown as much coat and isn't shedding even a bit as much as him.

I noticed yesterday Breeze has mud fever on one back leg, just underneath the pastern at the back. I am hoping I have caught it early enough. The scabs were gone today but it's funny because I was just thinking the other day, how well she is and how we have dodged the usual winter troubles. I guess I spoke too soon! She has been very good about me washing it and rubbing Sudocreme on. We did a lot of approach and retreat at first but she soon allowed me to do what I needed to do without getting upset or tense. Every day there is a reason for me to be very happy and thankful I am a Parelli student.

Cloud Nine.

You would think with thousands of photos of B I could find one relevant to today. But no, so this one will have to do. I didn't take any photos during my lesson with Claire today...far, far too busy and engrossed!

B and I warmed up by playing with obstacles, jumping over the blue barrels etc until Claire arrived. Today we focussed on circle game, refining it. My send needed some help because I have been blocking B and because she is so sensitive I have to be quiet but persistent, asking and supporting with the c/s and not put too much pressure on her and have her explode. Rhythmically seems to be the key and not forgetting neutral...I have been standing with my arms still up. Talk about nagging lol. What a relief to hang my arms down by my sides lol.

Claire said some lovely encouraging things. I know she always does but it's great to bounce ideas off her and have my own thoughts and theories validated, if that's the correct term. I am so used to being on my own on this Parelli journey that having someone to talk to in depth about it, is fabulous. To be told that B and I are doing so well and are actually in Level 3 now is wonderful.

It felt like we were constantly having to adjust to other riders, horses and people coming and going in and out of the arena today, that I jokingly said we might need a 'do not disturb' sign on the gate to the arena. B handled it very well but did end up quite introverted. It was gratifying to know my own idea of helping her find her own way out and back into the world was the right thing to concentrate on.

We talked about auditions and that getting my blue string is in our sights, along with the green L3, then black L4! That really is my dream! If we had filmed today Claire thinks it could be assumed that B was a LBI, she was quite slow and quiet. Not her usual confident self but also not RB enough to explode.

Breeze is a very complex horse and I realise now, just how much baggage she has. I did think she was pretty easy when I first met her. She just needed taking care of. But as is usually the way, the more surface you scratch, the more layers you uncover.

So, here we are. I know B and I are very well suited, more by luck than judgement. We have the will and ability to go further in Parelli. It is still going to take some licking and chewing on my part, to realise how much savvy I have now. It feels like we are ready to take it to the next level and we are embarking on leaving L2 way behind us. What a concept!! For what seems like forever I have studied Parelli and admired other peoples skills. Dreaming of one day being 'like them' but feeling I was no way near getting to any level of skill. Just clunking around really.

Breeze is beginning to think and solve puzzles. Today she trod on the 22' line. Usually she would toss her head in the air and get bracy (which was a vast improvement on the exploding she used to do!). Today she calmly took a step back off the rope. Incredible transformation. She asks questions on the circle game and when we get to obstacles. She will still offer lots of things other than what I ask of her sometimes. Before today she had a default setting of side passing everything which definitely was 'just a trick'. Now she is beginning to engage her brain and think.

The downside of all this knowledge is the feeling of more isolation from the rest of the world that surrounds me. As Claire pointed out, it's B's opinion of me that counts. Breeze seems to think I am all right!

My 51%.

Fabulous and more fabulous, that was my day with Breeze. The weather was still miserable and colder so it was c/s with bag again. I saddled up before playing in the arena so that B didn't get a damp back. Again I made sure I asked v v quietly, hardly moving the stick. We didn't need to do much. B wanted to be close and she made me laugh on circle game by asking to come in all the time. Despite that she was calm and obedient even with someone lunging their pony at the other end of the arena. Sandra and Bert were there too, watching us which is Sandra's polite way of telling me she and Bert were ready to ride.

I was almost thinking about getting on in the arena but decided, not today. Instead we left the arena and went and stood by the mounting block. I chatted to Sandra and someone else that came along, all the time asking B to come nearer the block and stand still. I took my time, rewarded B's slightest try and then I got on! B stood still for ages as I praised her and stuffed her face with bits of carrot and parsnip lol. This is a real first! B has been very unhappy about going anywhere near the block since I got her. Slowly we have played approach and retreat for all this time and now today it paid off big time. I love Parelli!

Leaving the yard was threshold free with one hesitation, so I lifted the lead rope and slapped my shoulders gently and she moved on. There were no thresholds entering the woods and B strode out with confidence, head down and looking where she was going. The whole ride was relaxed and fun. We trotted some of the mile and 1/4 but the ground was very sloppy and B made me laugh trying to trot and dodge puddles at the same time. She really looks at those puddles hard!

Some riders I know came up behind us and I let B turn and look at them and let them pass. One of the girls still calls me a nutter for riding in the halter lol. And now on a TB too. Ha! B watched them pass and didn't try to follow. Nice.

We had a couple of spooks, once when a deer shot out of the bushes. I just let B move her feet and she stops immediately when she feels the danger has passed. B ate a lot here and there but was a great partner. We got some sideways to help her relax a few times and for some of the time she either walked next to Bert or went ahead if she was feeling confident enough. We passed the exit with absolutely no hesitation whatsoever and Bert and B turned together and we gave our horse a treat each almost in sync!

Back on the yard B and I moseyed about, then I took her saddle off outside the container and she came right into it for a treat lol. We hung out together and played with the pedestal until she was happy to go back to her stable. She didn't want me to leave for a while so we had a bit of a cuddle and when she got stuck into eating haylage I left.

I did wonder if some of the issues between us that were raised recently might lead to a change in our relationship for the better. We both seem to give each other confidence! Horses teach riders, riders teach horses! Marvelous!

STOP SHOUTING!!!!!!

Despite the rain B and I had a play in the deserted arena this morning. The ground was soggy so I used my c/s with the plastic bag instead of the savvy string.

Back up over a pole.

B has such a sweet face when she comes to me.

We moseyed around for a bit then tried some fig 8 around the cones. I upped my energy to ask for trot one way, forgetting I had the bag on my c/s which resulted in B exploding and bracing. We had a bit of a tussle until she was calm and it was then I remembered about the plastic bag. And that I was shouting!

I asked her to circle again but she couldn't without continually changing direction. So. . . . I thought perhaps if I ask really really quietly with the smallest of gestures and only barely lifting the c/s. Instead of SHOUTING, I whispered. Hey presto!! Breeze stepped back beautifully, waited for my signal and calmly began to walk a lap or two. Change of direction was lovely and we ended the session there.

We walked back together to her stable and had a little bit of hanging out before I left for work.

This evening all we did was go for a graze in the dark around the yard. B kept checking in with me as I sat on a bench. She would come over and touch my hand with her nose although she was only 12' away online. Very sweet.

Circle game.

Wednesday was a stay in day so B and I played in the arena in the evening. There were other riders and this time B didn't go introverted very much. We spent quite some time on the circle game and it was great to see how relaxed she was and happy to 'do her job'. It went so well she offered a little bit of canter which gave me the chance to see if we could get one lap. We did! Marvelous but...I had to go and be direct line and ask for more. Which of course, we didn't get. Too much pressure and B got unconfident and RB.

Breeze got bracy which I managed to laugh about but it was hard work hanging on to the 22', especially with others around. It wasn't much fun when the young girl riding around started calling out to B and asking if she was 'being a tart'. That took a lot of emotional fitness for me to resist although I did call out 'no she's not'.

Anyway, we had some fun walking around and cooling off after that. I did ask for some more circle game, just to be sure B was calm and could stay that way and that I hadn't broken it. We had some fig 8 and some great jump, turn and face too. I was relieved to see I hadn't upset her. I love how forgiving horses are of us silly humans, sometimes when we have pushed things too far.

Since then, Breeze has been much more focussed on me. Despite my direct line thinking our relationship has come on a lot. I am also very pleased to see my patience and plan to help B become calmer is paying off. Slowly we work, or is it play, towards that goal of all three gaits calmly and controlled by Breeze herself. Seems like we are both learning to be confident in ourselves. I never stop being astonished by what horses have to teach each and every one of us and it always seems exactly at the right time!

We are still playing yo yo in and out of her stable and this morning I thought I would see how it would be if I asked B to move while I put her outdoor rug on. Turned out really well. It was just an extension of the carrot stretches we have been playing with me standing still and B turning around me. Great fun.

Respect and obedience.

I went to bed last night feeling out of sorts and woke this morning feeling very down and unmotivated. What I call my 'what is the point' head. The weather was in sympathy with my mood, dreary, windy and threatening to rain. I saw no point in trying to ride as it wouldn't be setting B or me up for success.

Instead we went into the arena (had it all to ourselves! yay!) and I half expected B to do her usual head down 'I can't do anything'. She didn't disappoint me either. As soon as we got in there she took up her usual stance. I almost let it get the better of me, near to tears and wondering what to do. I thought to myself that we can't just let it be like this. I have been thinking this over for a couple of days now. In fact longer, as it's been an on going thing for all of our relationship so far. What was B trying to tell me? Was I too boring, too pushy, too direct line or just too nice?

I had this attitude that because B is RBI and has had issues, that I had to be careful not to send her deeper into introversion or have her explode either. Some of which is because perhaps I don't believe wholeheartedly in my own savvy. Maybe I don't trust my own judgement enough. If so, how can I expect B to have trust in me as a leader?

So instead of cuddling her and not asking anything I gently asked her to just walk with me. We played put your nose on this and find bits of carrot. It seemed a good idea to me to see if anything was broken, just as part of the usual checking in to see which horse had turned up. No surprise then that friendly game wasn't quite right and when I came to question more, yo yo was well and truly broken!

There is a big part of B's horsenality that is LBI. I never realised this when I got her. Why would I? All I saw was a very unconfident scared RBI who was desperate for a leader. Now I see another side and there is a lack of respect and obedience too. That's a surprise! With this in mind I didn't let B go introverted, I just kept her quietly moving, slowly bringing my energy up and expecting just a little bit more of her. We played yo yo game until she stopped being a punk by either not looking at me ( blah, blah, blah ) and trying to wander off away or not stopping going backwards. This is where she gets bracy and dominant. It's definitely not unconfidence. I stood my ground keeping the pressure on the line until she relaxed and could come to me with a happy look and ears forward. We moved on to yo yo over a jump but that quickly became very difficult so we tried over a pole instead. B would offer anything but going backwards over the jump pole. She even stamped her feet in what looked like frustration at one point. Barging forward so I actually had to bump her to a stop. I don't have to do that very often!

Once yo yo was re-established I thought we could re-visit circle game and see if B could maintain gait and direction. Walk was pretty good 5-8 laps each way with head down and ear on me looking where she was going. Time to see if we could get trot! Usually B can be very emotional and get unconfident and I would give in and stop. This time I thought maybe she could just try and work through the emotions herself. I was quiet, but persistent and when she stopped, tried to turn etc I just politely repeated the request and insisted she do as asked. This sometimes resulted in a snotty attitude, snaky head and some leaping about and some canter! This made me laugh and then before either of us knew it, B was trotting on that circle, relaxed and maintaining gait and direction. I stood in neutral and listened for her rhythmic breathing and blowing out. I stopped counting at 20 laps! Her ragged trot had quickly turned even and relaxed. Change of direction was effortless too. If she slowed considerably or stopped I smiled and asked her again. After a few tries she stopped asking and just did her 'job'.

Just a glance at her HQ and she disengaged and came to me. I let her rest, then we had a walk about to cool her off in case she was too warm. The wind was quite cold so we kept moving. Over jumps, sideways without a fence (I love that!), falling leaf towards me (that really gets her hooked on me) a little weaving and then end the session. She didn't go introverted at the gate either but kept her focus on me and backed beautifully around the gate to go back to her stable.

I spent some time just hanging with her. She licked my hands, scratched a few itchy bits and let me help, then settled into eating haylage. That's my cue to leave a happy contented horse.

So, what's all this about?

I didn't get to muck out until the afternoon...B needed time to just chill and eat grass. We went to play in the arena which started off well until someone else came in and B went introverted immediately. She would occasionally surface and do something, lovely circle game, jump, turn and face, sideways, back up over a pole, reverse falling leaf. But in between she just hung her head and switched off.

Bertie and Sandra came along to play and I asked if I could let B get some cuddles from Sandra while I played with Bertie for a while. He's a lot different! Mr LBI, so we did some yo yo until he could go all the way back and come forward with a nice look on his face, then had a play with circle game, falling leaf and sideways. All the time B was licking Sandra's hands but keeping her eyes on me. It's great how playing with another horse gets B's attention.

While Sandra carried on playing B and I left to go saddle up which went well until I asked her into the courtyard. Her head went down again and she wasn't budging. Eventually after sitting with her and giving her time she was happy to leave and follow Bert and Sandra across the road where I got on from one of the benches at the tables outside the pub.

It was a good ride. Lots of eat here and move on. B was quite calm and both horses only spooked occasionally, once when two riders came up behind us. We had a few little trots and I only found out when we got home that Sandra had finally taken her Martingale off lol. No wonder she said she only wanted to walk when we set off lol.

We had a bit of a mooch around the yard when we got back. We went to the arena gate then did some back up and fig 8 in the courtyard, then I got off. B was cuddly and her usual sweet self. So what's going on here? Am I thinking this is more than it is? Or am I pushing her too much? I just don' t know. I just do what I think is right at the time, slowing right down and waiting for B to tell me when she is ready to move on. Speculating about the why's and wherefore's is pointless too because it would be pure guess work. I am not interesting in living in what might have been B's past. What matters is here and now. But we have a lesson booked with Claire Tuesday week. I can ask her!